Dirtylogy
It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.
repoed2
What the heck this thing!? Horrible doesn't describe it!!!!!! It's weird and stupid and dumb! This thing stars Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen as Mary Kate and Ashley (Ooooh....Creative!). Along with them, there's a bunch of annoying freaks who play their friends (The only remotely recognizable one is Lauren Maltby, the girl from Zenon: Girl of the 21'st century who was mean). They "sing"(sounds like a flaming cat in a trash compactor) and "dance" (looks like seizures induced by excessive constipation). Also, there's a bunch of guys who play their love interests, Including Chez Starbuck (Lord knows how he got a part in this crap, even this thing too good for his out-of-breath pig face acting!). This thing basically revolves around a crappy dance that Mary Kate and Ashley are worried about.Here's how it goes: We start of the film with Mary Kate and Ashley heading to school. Then they sing as song about how the only reason you should go to school is to see your friends (Or cult followers in their case). Shortly after they are joined by their "friends" (More like followers of the MK-A cult!) and go to class. Then, 5 minutes later, Mary Kate and Ashley are in the hall with their dumb boyfriends and this loser slut stalker girl who worships Ashley (BYE BYE BYE!!!!!). They talk about lunch and about the "hottest dance of the school, like duh!" entitled Cyberdance.com or Springfling.com or something!. To top it off, Ashley is the main nominee for Queen. Then the bell rings and they go home (school lasts A WHOLE 10 MINUTES in Mary-Kate and Ashley world!) Then they go to lunch with their friends. Mary-Kate is freaking out about how Rick or Steve or something isn't going to ask her to the dance....so then they sing a song about how you should wait by the phone so boys can call you to tell you you're pretty and invite you to low budget social events. Then Mary Kate calls him and asks him to the dance...and despite the fact that Mary-Kate's hair bares resemblance to one of the shrubs you can find outside of a doctors office, he says yes. Meanwhile, the loser slut Ashley worshiper asks Ashley's boyfriend to the dance, and he says no, so she plots revenge (teeheehee!).Now it's the day of the dance, and despite the fact that Mary-Kate, Ashley, and the MK-A cult did not know about the dance until the Monday before it, they've suddenly become the decorating committee(?). They decorate and smile like their lives depended on it, only to start to sing a song about "meaning business" and running around barefoot. Then the loser slut stalker tries to intimidate Ashley. Then Ashley's boyfriend shows her the "King and Queen voting booth and explains what its for (I'm pretty sure she already knew, genius).Now it's time for the dance. The scene opens with a bunch of crappy dancing and forced smiles from a group of children with no lives. Mary Kate and her wubbo-boyfriend waltz in and discuss the fact that he can't dance (Yeah Mary-Kate, you and you're friends are one's to talk!). Then the music is cut and this weird guy who looks like a child offender starts talking. Then For some reason, Mary Kate and Ashley, along with the MK-A cult, get all the credit for planning the dance. HELLO!!! HOW THE HELL DID THEY PLAN IT IF THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL A FEW DAYS BEFORE!!!!!....Coconut flavored snowballs? WTF is that?! Now it's time for the main event....The crowning of King and Queen (I can feel your excitement as you read this!)....Ashley's ugly boyfriend wins king, but (GASP!!!): TRAGEDY STIKES! ASHLEY DOESN'T WIN QUEEN!....now nothing can go on! (but there's more!) Now Ashley is upset and sad ."Everyone knows that you're the most popular girl in school!". And the Loser slut worshiper is glad that Ashley didn't win. Ashley and the rest of the MK-A cult go to the bathroom and "freshen up" (are you old ladies or something?). Then they start complaining and sing this weird nauseating song about how guys are scum and can't save you from burning buildings. In this same song, while they are climbing down the stairs, Lauren Maltby does this weird boob flaunting "dance move" that made me embarrassed for her!. This song is by far the dumbest out of all of the songs in this thing.Then they leave the bathroom and go back to the dance. Mary-Kate's moronic boyfriend steals a flower from the school's garden. Then they dance and everything is right in her hemisphere of Mary-Kate and Ashley world. Then Ashley goes on to her ugly boyfriend about "but you wanted to date the most popular girl in school". Then he says some random cheesy crap that doesn't really make sense and all is forgiven. They are about to kiss (they're like 12!), and then some random swing music plays and everyone gets out of the way as Mary-Kate and Ashley "swing dance" and everyone claps for them.Mary-Kate and Ashley-EWWWWWWWWWMK-A cult follower 1 (black hair)-This girl looks like a sorceress wearing glitter. Her forehead is so big and shiny! MK-A cult follower 2 (Lauren Maltby)-This girl seemed WAY to into her character. Ashley's Boyfreind-Ewwww, obviously his acting career was going nowhere. First he played a mermaid in a low budget TV movie, and moved on to this....that's sad Mary-Kate's boyfriend-IDK if he was supposed to be a bad boy or something but If I were to see him or his character on the street, I would beat the crap out of him!Mean girl- I don't really think she was supposed to be the villain, after she tried stealing Ashley's boyfriend, she kind of just faded away. And she kept stuttering and messing up lines...more proof that this was low budgetDO NOT WATCH IT!
dobsomka
it was almost 4 months before i had seen this show and i have to say i didnt even like it at first the songs were horrible and mary-kate's hair was ugly. but after about the 3rd time i seen it i started to like it. i sang along with the songs in fact i even got the soundtrack. but the twins really need to improve on their acting skills. i mean they are just feeding line from line.
l_barnes87
I used to love Mary-Kate and Ashley so much. But when you watch this movie you see that they are much too old. They should stop playing roles like these, because it will be the roles that turn them into child stars that get on drugs, like Anissa Jones or Gary Coleman. This movie is kind of weird, with songs like Noise about Boys and the Waiting Game. Mary-Kate and Ashley have to realize that they aren't cute little 8-year-olds anymore and they can't keep playing such childish roles. P.S. Safron Star, they do go to a private school and are actually spoiled b*tches who are mean to everybody.
