adamcdalton
I won't waste your time with a play by play, this was not worth the $1 at the Red Box. I enjoy horror movies that aim to scare but fall short and are in turn funny. Spoof movies try too hard to be funny and truly exploit the lowest common denominator much like a Big & Rich song! Either be a good horror movie or let us laugh at you trying, there truly is no humor in trying to spoof horror; have you ever seen a Freddy Kruger movie?This was one of the first movies I stopped watching after few minutes in. This movie was not worth the waining hours of my Friday night. From the opening lines I knew I was duped by the cover's graphic design. Ever met someone who tries too hard to be funny? If not, check out any self- proclaimed spoof movie! Spinal Tap is truly the only one to get it right.
johnbayer76
I had never been in an empty theater before until Saturday, when my girlfriend and I went to see this and we were the only ones there. It was very weird and very creepy. I figured we were in trouble but we stuck it out and watched the whole thing. And I liked it a lot. I've spent the last two days reading how much everyone hates this movie and since I didn't, I have to post here for the first time with my theory on what the studio did wrong. Here goes. I'm a film student so I try to see everything. I watch 4-5 movies on DVD a week and 1-2 in the theaters. And they are completely different experiences. I saw Vincent Gallo's Buffalo 66 on DVD two weeks ago and I loved it. I saw a movie I never knew existed called Little Noises with Tatum Oneal and Crispen Glover on DVD that had the worst sound in the world and it was still great. But I think if I had seen those things in the theaters I would have hated them. I saw Transformers 1 in the theater and I liked it. Then I saw it on DVD and realized it sucks. In the theater you want it to be big and know they spent money. You can't always follow the story because so much is coming at you with sound and sight so you don't even notice when the plot sucks. This thing was cheap and looks it. But I still liked it. It was complicated as hell but was funny and somehow very interesting. I think being in the theater pretty much alone it felt like I was watching a DVD on my couch. But the studio made a HUGE mistake putting this in theaters. They also made trailers that made you think it was a spoof which it isn't. I want to hear what people say about this when they see it at home. Date Movie and Epic movie suck on DVD. I bet this won't. That is my theory.
zardoz-13
Those "National Lampoon Dorm Daze 2" dudes--co-directors David and Scott Hillenbrand--are at it again with this shallow, super-sucky supernatural spoof of bloodsucker sagas called "Transylmania" based on an abysmal script by Patrick Casey and Worm Miller. Unless you have been sniffing glue or inhaling lead-based paint, you may find it challenging to laugh at most of their ridiculous routines. Everything here qualifies as lowest common denominator humor with loads of bouncing breasts and butts to ogle in what amounts to high school skits on a big budget. Yes, you guessed it the regurgitated gags take swipes at women, repetitive puking, drugs, homosexuals, transsexuals, masturbation, bodily fluids, sheep testicles and severed heads. One really bottom of the barrel scraper gag includes a prank about Siegfried, Roy and a tiger puppet.Basically, ten concupiscent American college students take the ultimate road trip by plane and train to spend a semester abroad at Razvan University in the heart of vampire country in Romania. The best--if best is an appropriate adjective here--gag is a homage to the Mel Brooks' classic Young Frankenstein". On the way to Castle Razvan, the kids ride in a horse-drawn cart. Every time that anybody mentions the word Razvan, the horses fart, and Razvan is mentioned more than enough times for the horses to fart more than enough times. Of course, what comedy would be a comedy were it not for mistaken identities? Our loopy protagonist Rusty (Oren Skoog) has been carrying on an Internet romance with Razvan honey Draguta Floca (Irena H. Hoffman) and sees this as the perfect excuse to make it with her in person. Later, he discovers to his chagrin that Draguta has a hump on her back that he cannot see while on-line with her. Cue the bad jokes: his pals accuse him of wanting to 'hump her.' One slightly amusing gag occurs when Rusty moons Draguta on his web-cam and then gives her a glimpse of his manhood. Simultaneously, when he regales her with his member, two people surprise him and walk into his dorm room. The anxious Rusty slams his laptop shut on his penis.Accompanying Rusty to Romania are a couple of pot-smoking pals, Pete (Patrick Cavanaugh) and Wang (Paul H. Kim,) and they endure incredible agony greasing up their rectums to stash bags of marijuana and bongs so they smuggle them past customs. Two girls, party babe Danni (Nicole Garza) and her square twin sister Lia (Natalie Garza) as well as another couple Newmar (Tony Denman) and Lynne (Jennifier Lyons), join them Rusty, Pete, and Wang. Meanwhile, an ultra-sexy vampire huntress Teodora van Sloan (Musetta Vander) and a demented Frankenstein-style doctor Dean Floca (the dwarfish David Steinberg) are two of the more prominent members of the faculty, and they are both loony tunes.Naturally, no sooner does Rusty arrive than we learn that a vampire-on-the-loose, Count Rabu (Oren Skoog), is a dead ringer for him. Sure, if you can rip off "Young Frankenstein," then you can rip-off the Marx Brothers, so Rusty and Rabu do the famous mirror gag from "Duck Soup" before Rabu realizes that there is not only no mirror but also he would not be able to see himself if there was one! Of course, the black Spandex-clad Teodora wants to nail the Count to death with her cross-bow. The main plot has something to do with Count Rabu and three fangster femmes who are trying to resurrect his former lover whose soul has long been trapped in a music box. It seems that Teodora's ancestor was responsible for this turn of events. Poor Lynne has the misfortune to open the music box and have the spirit of the dead vampire enter her body. Another faintly amusing routine has Wang cavorting around with the severed head of a beauty queen and masquerading as the rest of her body. It seems the Dean Floca carved her up so he could transplant a smooth, shapely back on his deformed daughter. In other words, Cliff balances his head in front of his face and wears a cloak around the rest of his body. Things get complicated when his pal tries to feel her up and Cliff loses her head and it lands in a waste basket.Truly, this tasteless, brainless comedy deserved its R-rating.
semiwizardsavan
This film was put together very well for what it was. It delivers all that it promises. Nothing more, and nothing less. This is not a movie to be analyze in order to try to find meaning. It is purely to allow you to forget that reality exists for an hour and a half.If you know your vampire lore, or at least your vampires movies, you will LOL. Some of the references are rather obvious, but there are a few that are harder to spot. There are also a homage to a past horror parody. :P This is probably one of the funnier comedies I've seen lately. The nice thing with this film is that it is a pure comedy, as opposed to the ever popular romantic comedy. The plot is executed very well. The effort put into the background and stunts is apparent. There is a seriousness in some of the characters and events that enhances the comedic aspect of the movie, which makes for a good laugh fest.By the way, I do not work in the film industry, nor am I a professional critic or know a professional critic. Just in case anyone was wondering.
