Merolliv
I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.
HaemovoreRex
Well blessed with one of the worst titles humanly imaginable and with the legendary Tomas Tang at the helm here, you can bet that this isn't going to win any Oscars anytime soon! Sure enough, this film should in fact probably carry a governmental health warning as it may well induce sever cerebral trauma to the casual viewer.Now I should point out here that I've enjoyed a great many of these cut and splice ninja offerings (and lived to tell the tale) and readily concede that they rarely make much sense, but in the case of the movie in question, - well put it this way, I was absolutely dumbfounded as to what the hell was going on! There appears to be at least three (or more!) different films edited into the mix here....In one we have a group of (illegal?) immigrants (who we're led to believe are ninja trainees on the run!) that are being exploited by the local mob who show a particularly sinister propensity for the predation of the females. Another bizarre sub plot (which amounts to all of two scenes!!!) involves a sort of Bruce Lee impersonator who gets into some chop socky action with some gormless hoodlums. Who is this fellow? Where did he come from? What is his motivation? WHO THE HELL KNOWS!?!?! - It's never explained! Finally we have the ninja sequences themselves (Tang probably concluded that this would be a good idea seeing that this was being tauted as a ninja movie after all) which make up the most enjoyable scenes on offer.As is customary in these films, the good ninja and bad ninja are contractually obliged to meet up at the films climax for a duel to the death...fair enough, but oddly the hero ninja in this actually doesn't even make an appearance in the film until about two thirds of the way into it (in a scene that must surely rank as one of the worst examples of acting in movie history!) In fact, just like the mysterious Bruce Lee impersonator, the hero also only appears in two scenes in the entire movie!!!So what of his evil nemesis? Well it has to be said, he's a tad unconvincing as a supposed master of the ninja arts as he sports a rather prominent and unsightly pot belly!!! Still, watching this film, the viewer has presumably not only suspended their disbelief by this time but probably completely lost touch with reality in addition and so probably won't notice such trivialities anyway.What can I say? This is an awesomely awful film that transcends badness and actually comes out the other side as an enjoyable unintentional comedy of sorts......well worth a watch if your into dementedly bad movies! Note: It may be advisable to have a doctor on standby though!
