Stometer Save your money for something good and enjoyable

Greenes Please don't spend money on this.

Fulke Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

Cheryl A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

john22900 It's the presence of Uschi Digard and Malta that make this film seeing at all. I wonder if this was the first erotic simulated sex combination horror scifi film. One thing is for sure, it's one of the weirdest wildest erotic films ever made. It plays like an x-rated twilight zone or outer limits episode. The actresses have great bodies especially Uschi and Malta. Marsha Jordan also makes a brief appearance in the orgy scene but don't blink or you'll miss her. It even borrows part of its film score from (are you ready for this) the original INVADERS FROM MARS (the classic scifi movie of the 50's!) The orgy scene is done pretty well. I'm not really giving anything away here because in every erotic film of this period there were orgy scenes and in some movies there were even two or three such scenes. Uschi has a great body and her two scenes are very erotic. The first one she basically is masturbating on top of a bed with (we assume) a guy under the sheets to make us believe the bed she is on is possessed. The second scene she is in is the orgy scene where she is having simulated sex, riding on top of a guy.

lazarillo In "Boogie Nights" Burt Reynold's porno director character has this hilarious monologue where he talks about his "dream" of making a porno film that people will sit and watch to the end even after they have. . . (well, see "Boogie Nights" if you haven't). Anyway, this is one of those rare movies. In fact, I'm sure most of the porn addicts out there would probably hate it because it's too flat-out weird to really be very erotic. But I actually admire sex movies that have the guts NOT to be the same old boring "erotic" crap. If you have seen and enjoyed "Cafe Flesh", "The Devil in Miss Jones",and "Let My Puppets Come" (the first and, to my knowledge, only hardcore porno puppet movie) you'll probably appreciate this film . On the other hand, if you're the type that eagerly lines up every week for the latest Jenna Jameson shot-on-video sex opus, don't bother.First, about the plot--there is no plot. And that's good. There is nothing more annoying than when a movie like this tries to have plot. Imagine you have an hour and half or so to kill, but every five or ten minutes you have to have sex for five or ten minutes, you probably wouldn't get much done in that time, and you certainly wouldn't develop much as a character (especially if you were being played by your average porn star who couldn't act his or her way out of a crisp paper sack). This movie is ineptly made in some ways. Obviously, the dubbing is terrible (porno movies are dubbed?--who knew). But the best you can hope for in a movie like this is a lot of interesting scenes, and this movie has them in spades. What I enjoyed most about this movie was the cinematography (not surprisingly the director worked mainly as a cinematographer), and the truly unique dream-like atmosphere it creates. This isn't a pedestrian sex fantasy--it's a cross between a warped wet dream and a really, really strange nightmare. It's basically a surrealist soft-core porno movie.

movieman_kev Ralph and Donna go to "Uncle's" house where they meet many other like-wise pervs hoping to please "Uncle" enough to get something from his toy box.Pretty much a flimsy excuse to show softcore hippie porn. Pretty boring to sit through, save for one scene with Russ Meyer's Uschi Digard as a buxom hippie who gets it on with a possesed bed. (yes it's as insane as it sounds) This movie is coupled with "Toys are Not for Children" on the Something Weird DVD.My Grade: C-DVD Extras: Art Gallery;2 short subjects ( the Toy Telephone Truck, & the Christmas Eves); Trailers for Toys are not for Children, the Toybox, The Exquisite Cadaver, Tales of the Bizzare, The Single Girls, Ann and Eve, The Depraved, Sextet, The Naked Countess, and Labrinth of Sex

gavcrimson Los Angles' Boxoffice International were truly the purveyors of some of the most unpredictable sexploitation movies ever conceived, and they didn't come much stranger than The ToyBox. Two swingers Donna and Ralph, along with a whole bunch of like minded individuals come to a castle run by `Uncle'. Uncle is a rich old man who rewards them for acting out some of their most out to lunch fantasies with a gift from the `Toybox' that always contains something they've always wanted. Its the fantasy scenes of `greedy people performing sex acts'that make up the film and what strange fantasies these folks have! One tubby guy fantasizes about women being hung up like butchers cuts who come back to life and hack him to pieces with meat cleavers. In what appears to be a parody of a German sex film, one long haired guy imagines himself and a girl running around speaking German, he puts on a scary mask and she kills him with a pitchfork. Uschi Digart, an actresses with big things in front of her turns up to get groped by a horny `Thing' like hand in a box (the latter scene really has to be seen to be believed). Donna and Ralph soon realise that things are far from normal- How does Uncle know what they're doing when he always stays in his room?, Why does he appear dead ? and why is he so lacking in the eyeball department! is it all part of an alien invasion? Soon severed heads start falling from the roof, people start dropping dead on the spot, a 50ft Woman and a glowing Kiss Me Deadly style case turn up as well. Never mind what 70's exploitation movie audiences made of this, today I can't imagine anyone watching The Toybox without thinking `what the hell is this?' What it is, is wonderfully disorientating. The Toybox also contains scenes that put most horror films of the time to shame, plus a spooky ending of Carnival of Souls proportions. Confusing? oh yes but far from the average softcore quickie its an almost impossible movie to classify- part Sci-Fi, part House on Haunted Hill and part skin flick as viewed through the eyes of someone on the verge of infinite madness. As for director Ron V Garcia he's more well known as a noted cinematographer on many movies (everything from Seventies sleaze to recent mainstream assignments) and has a good eye for the bizarre. Its a shame he didn't direct more movies, then again how could you top something like The Toybox?. It was as if Garcia wanted to create the most eccentric movie on the face of the planet, and he certainly had a good go ! The Toybox then is surely the best surreal Age of Aquarius sexpo overflowing with early Seventies craziness ever made.