Tedfoldol everything you have heard about this movie is true.

ChicRawIdol A brilliant film that helped define a genre

FuzzyTagz If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

Brendon Jones It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Enchorde Recap: Doctor Markov has developed a new theory how to produce energy, knowledge that might unbalance the world. He keeps his knowledge coded and secret and desperately wants out of the Soviet Union. KGB on the other side desperately wants the new technology. So, they sets a scheme in motion. During a rescue attempt to free Markov, KGB steps in, takes Markov to a secret location and lures him to reveal his secret by saying they are in Sweden, and working for the UN. As a backup, KGB kidnaps Markov's estranged daughter. CIA now send their best agents, a team of (Swedish?) Ninjas to thwart KGB and rescue Markov and his daughter.Comments: A cult movie that despite not being very good needs seeing. The movie is quite ambitious but lacking in many areas. First off is that it is very dark, probably to conceal locations and bad effects, that some scenes are hard to comprehend. You can't see what is happening. The second thing that it is lacking is martial arts, despite being a ninja-movie. Sure there are some, of quite poor quality, but mostly the ninjas fires automatic guns or sets of explosions. The automatic guns pose a problem too as they seem to have a endless supply of ammunition. And the ninjas seem almost immune to bullets while Soviet guards die like flies.What does it have that speaks for it then? The idea and ambition foremost. Some actually, and especially for a Swedish movie, decent action-scenes albeit not of martial arts. Some nice slow-motion scenes and pretty much blood and gore. And some very interesting new weapons technology that makes the victims heart or brain explode. Mostly all parts that you look for in a B-movie.Because it definitely is a B-movie, no mistake could be made there. But if you expect it, and watch it like a B-movie, it is entertaining. But don't forget, it is not only a B-movie it is set in the eighties. Some girls, for example, besides wearing... lets say "interesting" clothes, have lethal doses of eye shadow and makeup.In all, see for the cult status and the ambition. Enjoy it, and then forget it.4/10

Mattias Petersson This is the magnum opus from the Swedish king of crap, Mats-Helge Olsson. Seldom has a movie of this magnitude been made in Sweden and it truly stands out as one of the most amazing achievements in Swedish film to date. Who pays for these things? The Russian nuclear scientist Markov wants to defect to Sweden. But his plans are ruined by the Russian military who kidnap him and tell him that he has arrived in Sweden. This trickery is their way of seeing to that Markov continues his work in nuclear physics that will revolutionize the energy supply for the whole planet. The CIA however is bent on getting Markov to the west and send their ninja to liberate him.The practice of having Swedish actors speaking English is something that Mats-Helge has perfected in his later works. The cheap b-movie feeling this creates is probably unmatched for performance. But besides this? Well the action is standard direct-to-video style. Machine guns firing huge clouds of smoke. Thousands of Russians dying. People running around in black ninja suits, trying to hide in the snow.What really stands out though is the insanely poor way the fighting scenes are choreographed. When they say "Ninja" in the title i expect martial arts, i expect close combat. But there are maybe two or three scenes of actual martial arts in this movie. And they are hilarious. It's so bad i lack the words to describe it. If the ninjas moved any slower their hearts would stop. And of course the whole movie ends in a bang that indicates a special-effects budget consisting of four food-stamps and a McDonald's voucher.So what's the verdict? Instant classic of course. Never before has a movie been made that is so obviously meant to be consumed along with huge amounts of alcohol. It's the ultimate party movie. Insert into video and laugh. One just has to realize that movies like these are not made any more. This is film history.Therefore the rating is 8/10 for entertainment, 1/10 for quality and 10/10 for accents.

m0rg16 I just watched this film on DVD. It was actually worse than I thought... But let me explain: At first I thought this was going to be a horrible movie, yes. But in an Ed Wood kind of way: It's so horrible it's actually incredible! But this movie isn't. It could have been, but it isn't. But it's still quite "enjoyable" (mind you, it's still horrible).The dialoge and acting is bad, bad, bad. Remember that. It's really horrible. But it's quite funny in some scenes, because of that! Some scenes almost make it to 'Ed Wood Status'. But those aren't that many. Instead, we are graced with an endless amount of pointless action scenes. The finale, for example, has Ninja firing at an endless amount of guards. The whole thing is just ninja firing at guards, for ten minutes or so! Fun. Not.Those kind of action scenes are abundant in this film: Ninja/Agents firing at various russian guards and slaughtering them in the thousands. For several minutes... Makes the film quite boring.Ok, so let's get going on the "plot": A russian scientist, who is working on something that might tip the scale in the russians favour, wants to defect to the western world. But the russians don't want that, obviously, so they send in their agents to try and stop him. But the CIA are allied with the NINJA so, they are up for the task to rescue him at all cost! Yes!The plot is extremely silly, yet the movie handles it with extreme seriousness. This, of course, grants us some Ed Wood moments, as I have explained. But those few moments are not enough to save this film from boredom, of the action scenes.I'm not going to review every single aspect of this film, as I use to, as you can imagine: They're all extremely low budget.Ok, so final verdict: 4. 3 for the Ed Wood moments and 1 for the action! Blerg!

mange-3 According to the director this movie was popular in Asia. It is somewhat difficult to take these Mats Helge movies seriously since most of his films are shot on a very tight budget. Almost no USD at all. But it is fascinating to establish that Mats Helge eventually completes something which can be called an action movie. The Ninja Mission is - I think - the best one among all movies directed by him. Some special effects are quite enjoyable. This is not a "B" or "C" movie. It is a "Z" movie - but an enjoyable and fun "Z" movie!