The Cottage

2008 "Sleeps Six Bloody Comfortably"
6.1| 1h32m| NA| en| More Info
Released: 29 April 2008 Released
Producted By: Isle of Man Film
Country: United Kingdom
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
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In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose.

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Director

Paul Andrew Williams

Production Companies

Isle of Man Film

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The Cottage Audience Reviews

Fluentiama Perfect cast and a good story
SnoReptilePlenty Memorable, crazy movie
ShangLuda Admirable film.
Billy Ollie Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable
christopher-underwood Bit of a surprise here as despite the suggestions of gore on the DVD box, this began much as expected as a low budget UK film with buffoon like characters botching up a rather ridiculous kidnap attempt. Andy Serkis is great as the lead loon and although many have expressed dislike at Jennifer Ellison's performance as the victim, I thought she was rather good, although I see she has made no more movies. Beginning then as some sort of TV film of a crazy messed up kidnap, this suddenly swerves into a full scale slasher spoof with an amazing amount of very nasty (though still amusing) gory effects. And beneath it all, instead of some polite little London clubland dispute we have a major Texas Chainsaw dimension horror (though just still maintaining some level of humour). Great effort and if the first part went on longer than it might and subsequently the gore section also seemed on the verge of outstaying its welcome, it is clear there is a film maker of some stature at work here and we shall see more. Hard one to pull off, horror and comedy.
bowmanblue Andy Serkis. If you know your films (mainly post Lord of the Rings) you'll probably know him best for being the man behind the (completely computer-generated) Gollum and then dozens other equally digital Hollywood creations. However, it's rare that the man behind the effects gets to shine. Granted (and no offense Mr Serkis if by some fluke you ever read this!) he's not exactly picture perfect leading man material, but he sure is fun to watch in the right setting.Here, in this low budget British horror 'The Cottage,' he plays one half of a pair of inept brothers who are trying to get rich quick by kidnapping the (borderline indestructible Jennifer Ellison) teenage daughter of local kingpin 'Arnie' and holding up in the titular cottage.' Now, bearing in mind that the brothers are hardly the Kray twins, this would be dangerous enough. However, their plight isn't exactly aided by Jennifer Ellison being possibly the most difficult victim ever tied to a bed and gagged. Oh, and did I mention the locals aren't too friendly either? What you're left with is a pretty low budget, but very gruesome ninety minutes of fun. Yes, it's not Oscar worthy and the special effects aren't that special in places (I'm talking about possibly one of the most blatant 'full face masks' ever committed to the silver screen. But that doesn't matter. Serkis carries the film alone, but that's not to say that his (henpecked) brother, played by Reece Shearsmith doesn't deserve a mention (especially due to his inexplainable fear of moths) and then you have Jennifer Ellison who is just wonderfully obtuse (and foul-mouthed) at every turn.Don't expect Shakespeare, just expect deliciously over-the-top fun (with severed body parts aplenty).
FlashCallahan When David and brother Peter kidnap the daughter of gangster, they bring her to the titular place.Peter calls her father and asks for a ransom of one hundred to be taken by her step-brother Andrew.When the bag is delivered, he is followed by two Chinese hit-men hired by the girls father.When the David discovers that the bag contains only paper, he drives to a nearby village to make a phone call to demand the money. When he returns,he finds the girl has reversed the situation and escaped with his brother as hostage......It starts off very promising, in a League of Gentleman sort of way, and up until the big reveal of the killer farmer, works really well as a dark sort of Ealing caper.But then it descends into banality. What should have been a classic B-movie, goes for the gore factor, and ruins the film.The directors first movie was London to Brighton was an amazing movie, and here, he's taken a step back, despite the brilliant cast and the grim setting.an entertaining misfire.
Maz Murdoch (asda-man) The Cottage always appealed to me. I saw that it was a British horror-comedy and no one does horror-comedy quite like us Brits, given the track record of greats such as, Severance and Shaun of the Dead. It also stars Reece Shearsmith whom I have loved from the wonderful TV series, Psychoville and it's a slasher! What's not to like? Why, from the looks of the reviews it looked like there was a lot not to like, so I held off from buying it for a while. However, when I saw it for a couple of quid in a wonderfully cheap DVD shop in Blackpool I thought that there was nothing to lose. There wasn't. Whilst it doesn't quite reach the heights of the horror-comedy genius from Shaun of the Dead or Severance, I think I could safely say that it's as good as the under-rated zomedy, Cockneys Vs Zombies.The Cottage has a great set-up with two bumbling brothers, shoddily staging a kidnapping with feisty Jennifer Ellison. I thought that it was a much more original set-up for a slasher, rather than the tired old kids going on holiday to abandoned cottage. In fact, the slasher element doesn't entirely come into play until about halfway in, but there's no need to worry because like Severance, the 'non-horror half' is by no means less entertaining. It's full of funny banter and fantastic characters who you'll feel sad to see go. I especially enjoyed Reece Shearsmith's cowardly idiot and Steven O' Donnell's even bigger idiot who has some seriously funny lines to say. Doug Bradley's came could've been better, but it's fantastic that he's in it.Things do get especially interesting when a deformed serial-killing farmer is hilariously introduced out of nowhere. I think most films would benefit from a character like this appearing halfway through. This is an obvious pastiche from those wonderful 80's slasher films where a deformed lunatic bumps everyone off. In fact, The Cottage has a great 80's horror vibe throughout which I enjoyed immensely and so should every other horror fan. To top it off the death scenes a humorously over-the-top and great fun. But the reason this slasher works so well is because of its great characters and incredibly witty screenplay. A lot of people say that the humour doesn't work, but for me it did. Although predictable at times, it was still directed with energy to ensure ceasing any dull moments.Yes the quote on the back of the DVD saying that it's the horror event of 2008 is way over the top, considering that 2008 is the year that graced Eden Lake, Let the Right One In and Martyrs to the screen (all three in my top 10 horror films of all time). Nevertheless, The Cottage is way better than you'd expect, given the unfair criticism the film gets. It's a fun, fast, funny and often thrilling ride that can be watched over and over again. I think that it's even a little bit better than Hatchet!