Tromafreak
Oh my dear, sweet, Lord no!! No!! One Hundred Thousand times no!! What happened here? How many silly puns, wacky voices and pointless references to other movies does one need to make a worthwhile B-Horror flick these days? Seriously, I want an explanation. You understand, this isn't Ed Wood bad, this isn't H.G. Lewis bad or Lloyd Kaufman bad. This isn't even Ray Dennis Steckler bad. This is super bad, this is Seaver bad.We begin with reason to stop watching #1, meet Hambone. Go ahead, Hambone, say your name a few more times, Hambone, I'm sure it'll eventually be funny. No, wait, too late...Before his much-deserved demise, Hambone invited his friends out to his cabin for the weekend, most of which talk with painfully wacky voices, painful like fingernails on a chalk-board while A Night To Dismember is playing.Hambone's friends include 80's Guy, empty-headed 80's guy, outlandish Goth-Hog, eager-actress, Regular-Guy (frightrags.com), and of course, the host, Mr. Fruity-Fro, who is, by far, the highlight of the night.And I think there's even a storyline. A killer, or something. Yeah, some Scarecrow-thing, who always has something witty to say. The tagline is as follows, "One part Friday The 13th, one part Ernest Goes To Camp, and 3 parts cream cheese. A more appropriate tagline, you ask? "The ultimate sin against film-making!!"It makes me sick to even think about it. My B-Horror collection has reached an all-time low. In fact, some of my other low-budget Horror DVD's have a certain stench to them now, just from being on the same shelf. Come to think of it, my whole house stinks now. I heard about this Chris Seaver guy a while back. I was tempted to try out one of his earlier movies called Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker, but never got around to it. Jeepers, I sure am glad, instead I bought the much, much more expensive Terror At Blood Fart Lake. I was so willing to give this Seaver guy a chance, because God Knows I love B-Horror, but this one is just too much to ask. Really uncool, Seaver, really uncool. To be blunt, Chris Seaver should be ashamed of himself, that is, unless he's in elementary school or something, in that case, congratulations are certainly in order, young man. But if you're in your 30's, like I suspect you are, then you owe me and at least a few other unfortunates a written apology, and a refund wouldn't hurt, but I'll settle for an apology. Regardless of what this guy's deal is, I still take full responsibility for my poor judgement, and not to mention, my wastefulness, I mean, with the shape the economy is in and all. With so many out of work, so many people having to do without, but me? I spend nearly $30 on a movie called Terror At Blood Fart Lake, which, come to find out, is a whole lot worse than it sounds. After this, I might just take a break from my B-Horror collection for awhile, in fact, the Highschool Musical Trilogy is sounding better and better. Thank's again, Seaver, thank's for nearly ruining my love for B-cinema. For anyone else who may dig the shlock, turn around, run away, and never look ba...Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I love this movie...A shocking change-of-heart.Alright, fine!! I'ts a good movie!! I don't know what I was thinking. My apologies to Chris Seaver and his talented cast, assuming any of you good people ever read my misguided hate from earlier. I'll admit, I got a little carried away with my original reaction, but after several more viewings, LBP actually won me over. I totally get it now, this movie is hilarious, this movie is a masterpiece, and I love everything about it!! Not only do I now plan on buying Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker, but I am now going to make it a priority to add every Chris Seaver film I can find to my collection. At first glance, Terror At Blood Fart Lake may appear to be worthless garbage, but just give it a chance, and it just might prove to be worthwhile trash, and a future classic of Exploitation. So, just ignore the hate and check it out. Long live LBP!!! 10/10