Cleveronix A different way of telling a story

BelSports This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

Portia Hilton Blistering performances.

Bob This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Scarecrow-88 Just the idea of a cranky, insulting Reggie Bannister as the sheriff of an Illinois town is incentive enough to watch this absolute waste of your life. That and a rather frail Quigley as his deputy. The director just doesn't know how to shoot a scene. Close-ups at the wrong time. The use of black & white photography for no apparent reason other than to do so. Slow motion when not needed. Zoom lens that is awkward instead of effective. The overbearing score that wears out its welcome right out of the gate. The film goes back and forth from "the day after" and what transpired "during the night", becoming rather jarring when you try to follow the damn thing, with patience put to the test. There are Grindhouse lines that are sometimes used just for the hell of it. The director even casts the film in a pink hue at one point. Dialogue in the film goes on and on about testicles in disarray, what guys' girlfriends might be doing at their sleepover, sex (of course), and wisecracks towards each other (mainly poking fun at insufficient lovemaking) covering a number of subjects (from who's pectorals are more impressive to lake house girl's insufferable father). Both the guys and the girls discuss pulling pranks on each other. There's a creepy neighbor of Heather (Sarah Minnich; she's the one with the house by the lake the girls are having a sleepover at) who pops up occasionally to give the girls the heebie jeebies because of his strange vibes. When the first murders happen (to the boys), it is just right out of left field (the throat slashings aren't too bad actually, with lots of squirting blood (although one of the male actors who got the knife couldn't fake a death if his life depended on it), and there's a nasty face gash that is rather a nice bit of prosthetic work). As much as I dig Reggie, I could do without a bunch of damn close-ups of his mouth. That and the droning piano playing when he's communicating to a prison official about an escaped convict (freed from a psycho in a cop's uniform). There's this soft focus lensing, too, that will probably force you to squint at times. Minnich makes these expressions when she's grossed out or freaked out that did kind of amuse me (at first) but even that becomes tiresome after awhile. And I could have done without that same over-and-over shot of Minnich with her head covered with a hoody and bandages over her nose. There's even the Jigsaw voice across the phone threatening the Sheriff and telling him his deputies are "still at the station". Quigley fans will have to accept the fact that she's in the film for a few minutes and has conversations with Reggie that get on his nerves, not long after getting her head slammed multiple times on a cop car hood. Daddy re-emerges after supposedly going on a trip to a tool convention, totally a lunatic for absolutely no reason except that it must have seemed like the ideal twist when the script was written. There's this whole back story on a pizza delivery man wrongfully accused, but if he doesn't step in any evidence or damage the crime scene it is kind of hard to swallow he'd be sent to prison. The whole murder scene, to begin with, is shabbily staged with one teenage kid just slicing his girl buddy's throat, leaving the scene with his friend, the pizza man arriving at the worst possible time. There's the girls showing their tits, most of them hot enough to divert your attention momentarily, but even here the garbage photography, shooting style, and fast edits undermine even the chance to enjoy the eye candy. To cap it all off, lots and lots of explanation when it isn't needed. Hell, even the closing excerpts that are supposed to be funny mistakes flop like a fish. What crud. I so wish Bannister and Quigley could get roles in better films, but this kind of crap is what they're often relegated to.

trashgang I'm going to be straight about this one. It is stated on the sleeve as a return to those "Eighties slashers" and also to the "slumber party's". First of all, slashers from the eighties do have gory shots and are really scary. Secondly, if you but names in it like Reggie Bannister or Linnea Quigley people do want the action they were given in those heydays of horror. But this one surely doesn't deliver. Oh yes, there's a lot of tits to be seen in all kinds from hanging to small to C cups but that surely doesn't make a horror, oh yes, it's gratuitous but there are some rules to follow. I've been grown up in the eighties and I have seen my amount of slashers and if girls go naked then they show it all. Here we only see tits whatever but if they show a shower scene with two chicks in it then I suspect they are naked but no can do here, they still were there knickers then it's a huge turn-off for those flesh flutes to play, if you know what I mean. Why Linnea has been cast is still a mystery for me, she's a few minutes on the screen, so it's for a teaser she's in it. The so-called slashing doesn't deliver too, it's okay but if you state "eighties" then I want to see the knife going in and some gore added. Oh no it isn't here. And to be honest, the storyline sucks and the acting is mediocre. Face it, in some scene's the titties do act better than the girls and let me don't mention the boys at the bar, what a terrible acting. Some people see it as a comedy, well tell me where to laugh. No no, it's not because you but some nudity in it and famous names from the eighties that you have a horror. Indeed, what a massacre it was.

Ted Brown A spring-break sleepover takes a turn for the worse for six sorority co-eds, after Stanley Peterson, convicted serial killer, escapes from maximum security prison. It's up to the college ladies to survive the night, and at the same time figure out who is behind all of the grizzly blood-soaked antics. No you have not stumbled onto your very own Hot tub time machine, although this film does an excellent job at reenacting the feel of a classic 80's who did it slasher, "Spring break Massacre" is actually from 2008, and a great example at how a homage film is done.Recently I have watched a lot of homage films mostly paying tribute to the 70's exploitation film or the 80's slasher with only a handful managing to pull it off to their advantage, "Spring Break Massacre" happens to be one of these mentioned movies. This movie feels so retro that it should be sold on both VHS and DVD in my opinion and any fan of the era will come away from "Spring Break Massacre" more than pleased with their viewing experience.Story wise "Spring Break Massacre" is your classic who did it slasher, constantly confusing you around each turn as to who the killer is and why they are eliminating college guys and girls at an alarming rate. All the 80's clichés are here and often done in a very humorous way everything from good old fashion 80's style gore, to your typical dose of T&A, it can all be found within the running time of "Spring Break Massacre" causing it become a must see film for any old school horror fans looking for a fix of pure popcorn fun you'll feel like your back at the drive-in minutes into this film.The special effects are your basic 80's style practical effects, nothing but latex and buckets of blood the way such a film should be created. There are some very fun kills that reminded me of the early "Friday The 13th" franchise during its hay day, one involving a coat hanger you should keep an eye open for when viewing "Spring Break Massacre".Overall I enjoyed this movie, but I warn you it is geared towards the fans of cheesy gore loaded 80's horror so if you find yourself not liking most of the era's offerings your best bet is to skip this one, but for your fans this is a hidden gem you will absolutely love and I highly recommend you give this one a watch. On behalf of The Liberal Dead I give "Spring Break Massacre" a 6.5 out of 10.6.5/10 - Ted "Ritualistic" Brown www.liberaldead.com

DesperateHouseboy Let me start off by saying if you're the type of person who only likes serious movies full of A-List stars, then this is probably not for you. But if you like fun, cheesy slasher films then I'm sure you'll enjoy this. 'Spring Break Massacre' is about a group of girls who are having an overnight party, and suddenly become the target of a madman. Sound familiar? Thats because 'Spring Break' is mostly a homage to the 80's slasher series 'Slumber Party Massacre'. The Queen of B Films, Linnea Quigley stars in this, and even though her part is kinda short, its always nice to see her. While its not as gory as it could've been, there's still a decent amount of blood, and a high body count, so gore hounds shouldn't be too disappointed. The bottom line is if you enjoy trashy, brainless slasher flicks, then I suggest you give 'Spring Break Massacre' a shot.