Pacionsbo
Absolutely Fantastic
Afouotos
Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.
Kaydan Christian
A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.
CTerry1985
Sherlock Bones is the heartwarming tale of a small boy, his potentially dangerous father, his veterinarian love interest (who wears a lab coat in the one scene of her working, for the next three scenes, and then never again in the entire movie), her incredibly badly acted miscreant child, a talking dog, and an entire cast and crew of people who make a series of misjudged decisions after another.Sherlock Bones is bad. Very, very bad. It is not the sort of bad of the Pearl Harbor breed of terribleness however, where one is left spinning in an ocean of the terrible wondering when the sheer horror will end. No, Sherlock Bones is the kind of hilarious bad that provokes the kind of laughter that physically stops you breathing at the inane stupidity of what you are watching. It is a special thing when two children and their talking dog buddy need to chase down someone, so the dog somehow transports itself into the driver's seat from where it declares, apparently without irony, "Get in! I'll drive!". The hilarity of this particular moment is only increased by the dog's neckerchief and eyepatch (yes, really) and 'Scottish' accent. When told he cannot drive the dog simply responds that he is forty-seven. The hilarity of this scene was so much that we repeatedly had to rewind it to soak in the sheer brilliance of this scene as tears streamed down my face.In short: DO watch this movie IF you and a few friends want to watch a truly terrible movie in order to riff on an artifact of 1990s horror the likes of which has never been seen. DON'T watch this movie if you expect to in anyone enjoy it on an unironic level. ESPECIALLY DON'T show this movie to your kids if you don't want them to grow up to hate you.
anxietyresister
A talking, Scottish-accented police dog (though he won't speak to grown ups) and his British owner (what are they doing so far from home?) are on an isolated island somewhere off the coast of America staking out drug smugglers. After the copper is kidnapped by said rouges, the chatty canine is forced to team up with a chubby 10 year old lad and his sarcastic friend Emma to track down the baddies and launch a rescue mission. Trouble is, the only help available is the boy's eccentric (I would prefer to call him useless) inventor father and the two most inept law officials you'll ever meet (who also happen to be the only cops on the islands). Will they manage to save his life before the budget runs out?? Stay tuned..Sherlock Bones is a terrible film all right, but it exudes a bizarre fascination more potent than almost any other bad film I've seen. Watching it is akin to seeing a bunch of toddlers attempt a revival of A Midsummer Night's Dream.. you know it's wrong but you can't pull yourself away because of what might happen next. For instance: everybody on this island goes around in golf carts. A running gag is that one of the two inept cops on the island (the fat guy, obviously) constantly has his foot run over by them. Ho Ho. This joke reaches a crescendo when a whole bunch of carts, all chained together, get nudged and end up rolling downhill, all passing over his foot one after another. The reason this part is so unbelievable is THE GUY JUST LETS THEM All SQUASH HIS FOOT WITHOUT MOVING IT AWAY. You'd think after the first one crushed it, he would at least withdraw his leg but NNOO that would ruin the joke! There's a fine line between dumb laughs and insulting the audience, and this scene crosses it.What other little peculiar moments can I single out? How about the opening scene, when the overweight boy is on the ferry, finds a pet rat on the floor which everybody sees and as a direct result causes all of the passengers to puke over the side? (WHAT?) Or when the kids are trying to sneak past the moronic inventor, the girl has a fantastic idea of disguising his son as a female.. by slipping a two piece swimming costume on him (while neglecting to do anything about his appearance). On the technical side, I suppose I should mention the safety threads that stand out like a sore thumb when Sherlock is dragging the kid along the ground, and the three most obvious dummies ever which are supposed to be the bad guys as they're clinging on for dear life to a speeding ship. But all these pale in comparison to seeing the dog actually talk, as the mouth movements hardly match the words and sometimes you hear it speak when its jaws are firmly closed. Babe this ain't. As a final insult, said hound isn't even in half the movie, as he is conveniently injured or kidnapped for large chunks of it. Whassthematter, not got enough cash to smear dog food round Sherlock's lips Mr Producer Sir?At just a touch under 90 minutes, you might think this would be an easy film for you to sit through with your kids. That's until you have to endure all the horrible music and endless slapstick, not to mention the terrible acting and the bargain basement effects. However, as a caveat, there are so many odd little idiosyncrasies that I've never seen in any film before or since it's got to be worth a look for sheer car crash value alone. They certainly don't make 'em like this any longer. Thank goodness for that.. 3/10
Randy Coates
The plot outline for this movie itself tells us how bad it is going to be."Billy, 10, a dreamer, wants to be taken seriously so he can live with his toy-designer father on Catalina Island. Billy's plans get seriously spoilt when Sherlock, a talking police dog, demands his help to rescue his police detective handler kidnapped by smugglers. But Sherlock likes to keep his talking a closely-guarded secret. So now no one will take Billy seriously until he rescues the kidnapped detective and catches the smugglers..." Uh-oh won't everyone think he's crazy when he says the dog can talk but when they try to talk to the dog the dog won't talk to them because the dog wants to keep his talking a "closely guarded secret"? Will Billy and Sherlock the Talking Mystery Solving Dog be able to thwart the dastardly smugglers and save Sherlock's partner, the detective, who unlike the dog was too stupid to save himself from the smugglers? You won't be surprised at all by the ending or anything else in this stupid movie for that matter.
David S.
This pathetic movie about a talking detective dog shows nothing but contempt of people in general and children in particular. The so-called special effects are mind-blowingly awful as is the whole tone of the film. Along with Forest Warrior with Chuck Norris and Il Professore with Bud Spencer this is the worst film I've ever had the misfortune to see. I give it a dead certain 1 out of 10.
