Sam Panico
If you ever wanted to watch a movie where Bill Goldberg hits Chris Kattan with the same sidekick that ended Bret Hart's career, good news. I have found the movie for you.Yep, the Mason family - including James Caan, Rebecca Gayhart, Fran Drescher and Kattan - are all fighting during Christmas dinner, but Santa arrives in time to kill them all. And that's just the start.Santa is really Satan's son - the son of a virgin birth like Jesus - who used December 25th as the "Day of Slaying" until an angel defeated him in a curling match and he was forced to deliver gifts for 1,000 years.Now, it's 2005 and Santa is ready to get some revenge.This film was directed by David Steiman, who was a production assistant for Brett Ratner. It's a slick looking film, one that ended up way better than I thought it would be.It has some interesting picks as stars, like SCTV's Dave Thomas playing a perverted pastor and Robert Culp playing the hero's grandfather (who ends up being the curling playing angel who defeated Satan's son). Plus, you know, Bill Goldberg as Santa, which gives him the chance to use his "Who's next?" catchphrase after the credits.There are much better Santa as killer movies you can watch this holiday season. And we've covered so many of them over the last few days. But if you want to be a completist - and if you're a wrestling fan and want to see Vince Russo die in a strip club massacre - then go ahead and watch this.
jacobjohntaylor1
This is a awful movie. In this movie Santa Claus is a demon and he goes around on Christmas eve killing people. This movie is awful. Do not see it. I think it is supposed to funny. But is it not. It is sick. And sick is not funny. Stick is just stick. This is one of the worst horror movies ever. The story line is awful. It is just a pile of pooh pooh. This would never have been made. Do not wast your time. Do not wast your money. Do not see this awful movie. It stinks more then pooh pooh. It is the most poopy of the pooh. It is just pooh pooh. Pooh pooh, pooh pooh, pooh pooh, pooh pooh. I can not believe they made this pooh. It is popular pooh. Which is a good thing. Because I hate when pooh pooh like this is popular.
ironhorse_iv
This movie is just awful like black coal in a Christmas stocking. I guess, if you don't take it serious, it's a bit watchable, but I just can't hide from the truth that this movie has a really dumb low brow comedy. Directed by David Steiman, Santa's Slay has a killer Santa Claus played by former professional wrestler, Bill Goldberg who every Christmas come down from hell to kill the wicked. It's like the movie took its plot from the TV Animation Show Futurama's 1999 season, episode 4 'XMAS Story' or seem a rip-off 1984's Silent Night, Deadly Night. It's interesting that Bill Goldberg was pick to be the evil Santa Claus in a way, because Goldberg came from Jewish heritage. So, it was no surprise that some Jewish people find the movie offensive, due to the film portraying one of them as a Christmas hating Satanist. I think the majority of Jewish people that work on the film see it as a light-weight dark comedy that both mocks Christmas, and the negative stereotype of the Jewish people. Not only does Santa Claus kill a Christian pastor Timmons played by Dave Thomas, but a lot number of Jewish character actors such as Saul Rubinek, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and Rebecca Gayheart. Honestly, I don't know why the talented James Caan is in this movie! He could had done better. I don't know what the movie is trying to say with the over the top origins of Santa Claus here. In the movie, apparently, Santa is the Anti-Christ, produce by the result of a virgin birth by Satan. Just like Jesus on Christmas, Santa acts as his enemy. Somewhere around 1005 A.D, Jesus & God defeat Santa in a bet during a curling match that sentenced Santa to deliver presents on Christmas for 1000 years. First off, curling match? The sport wasn't even invention yet, and from all the weird sports you can pick from, you pick the most boring sport in the world for your movie. Does anybody find curling funny? Anyways, after 1000 years, Santa is free to kill again in 2005 of the time this movie came out. The movie does awkwardly use a lot of Christmas, and Satanist puns to give up the point that the settling for this film is in a town call Hell Township. Lot of Christmas references in this film. The jokes are so juvenile, that even a 5 year old can get it. There isn't really much to guess, as they put it out there for everybody to laugh at. They even had a scene where a grandma get ran over a hell-deer AKA reindeer to hint that they were making fun of that Christmas song. The movie does use a lot of stupid toilet humor and dick jokes. The tongue in cheek humor in this movie is really dry. Lot of out of the blue, cursing doesn't make any of these jokes in the movie, any funnier. Honestly, even if my eggnog was spiked, I really doubt I would find this movie as funny. It's hard to find this movie as scary. Bill Goldberg wasn't one bit scary nor funny. Bill Goldberg was never a good actor nor a good wrestler as well. His limited talent really shows in the film. He can barely move due to his large mass, and he's doesn't speak much, besides one liners. The movie even hints the wrestler persona of Bill Goldberg, by showing him do the Jackhammer on somebody and quoting 'Who's next?'. As a wrestling fan, it's kinda cool to see that, but also takes away from the real story. It's really hard to cheer for anybody besides the killer Claus, because the main character Nicolas (Douglas Smith) is somewhat selfish and immature. His acting is so wooded that it burns to listen to him speak. It like watching a log cracking in a fireplace while your nuts is roasting on the open flame. Talking about nuts, the movie has a guy taze there. The kills are so over the top cheesy that it borderlines cartoony. The special effects are just awful. It's so fake looking, that even pro-wrestlers are like pointing it out. There is some female characters in the film, but they serve nothing to the plot beside being a love-interest to the annoying male character, and for others, background nudity. I'm not Santa, but they can sit on my lap, anyday. In my opinion, there was some optimism that a good Christmas horror movie would come and sadly this was not that film. There was much to work with the material, like how Santa is spelled with the same letters as Satan, but the movie barely use anything. The movie could had, gone into his mind, and explain why he is evil. The years of being in the North Pole running a sweat shop elf based enterprise could be interesting. Only if the movie was a bit longer. 78 minutes is kinda short. For a B-List movie, it isn't that bad, but pretty dumb. Anyways, the movie leaves open to a sequel if they really wanted to. Unlike a Christmas list, I wouldn't be checking this twice.
atinder
This as to one of the most funniest horror comedy movies, I have seen in a long time. Dinner scene at the start, Was a pure classic, I thought it was really funny and with somd very funny deaths. (Who ever thought of Goldberg from WWE as a Evil Santa), he was great to watch.The whole movie was just silly however it was the good kinda of silly, Which made it really fun to watch. The acting was decent for this B-movies. I also actually liked some of the songs that madee, Some of them are very Catchy.7 out of 10, Really Funny.
