Protraph Lack of good storyline.

Donald Seymour This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Portia Hilton Blistering performances.

Matylda Swan It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

Benjamin Cox At the start of this month, I was wondering what exactly made a Christmas movie - thoughts prompted by finally watching the iconic "It's A Wonderful Life". My conclusion, such as it was, was that it was the film's message that mattered and not fake snow and Father Christmas saving the day. So what then are we to make of a movie such as this which turns a fundamentally unlikeable twit into the most idiotic hero I've ever seen in any film. If IMDb is correct then this should be the worst movie I've ever seen, judging by its long stay in the notorious Bottom 100. It certainly makes a strong case as it's too stupid for any family to enjoy, devoid of any real charm and practically insults the viewer from the opening reel with cheap effects, pitiful performances throughout and a plot that even the screenwriter would deny any knowledge of.The plot, such as it is, revolves around self-centred multi-millionaire Blake Thorn (Hulk Hogan) who somehow amassed himself a fortune flogging various fitness products despite having few redeeming qualities and no apparent intelligence - he spends his free time beating up the small number of staff at his mansion and irking the police with Hummer-based paint-ball battles in the streets. After one such incident, Blake hides in the local mall from the police by disguising himself as a department store Santa. But after a convoluted series of events, he takes a blow to the head which causes amnesia severe enough to erase any memory of who he is. Persuaded by dodgy mall elf Lenny (Don Stark) that he is the real Santa, Blake decides to intervene on behalf of a struggling orphanage facing closure at the hands of resident baddie Ebner Frost (Ed Begley Jr) and his gang of goons."Santa With Muscles" really is as dumb as its title, offering nothing in the way of entertainment, stimulation or anything beneficial to mankind in any way. From the opening title screen to the final shot, everything looks as though it was made as cheaply as possible and then budgeted even further. Hogan, who is actually quite a charismatic performer in the ring, is devoid of any charm whatsoever and goes through the motions like a South African sign language interpreter - looking good in theory but sorely lacking in practise. The rest of the cast are equally bad - Begley Jr is hardly a leading light in A-list cinema and judging by his performance here, its easy to see why. Meanwhile, even a pre-teen Mila Kunis fails to distract any attention from how truly dreadful the production is. If I was being charitable (and 'tis the season, as they say), I could say that they did the best job they could with the material and with the inept direction from John Murlowski whose other credits include "Cop Dog" and "Zombie Hamlet". Nope, me neither.It really is one of those films where you wonder how it ever got from the page to the screen without someone somewhere raising the alarm. It even fails to provide anything about the message of Christmas, unless you include the exploitation of fairly serious head injuries for personal gain. Frankly, "Santa With Muscles" isn't just a slap in the face for Christmas movies or even so-called "family" movies - it's a straight-up insult to the movie-making industry as a whole. Here is a small group of writers, producers and actors who think that such mindless drivel counts as entertainment simply because your kids will be watching with you. If you want a family movie that won't end in a fight then may I suggest almost anything by Pixar - "WALL·E" is a monumentally brilliant picture which amuses and educates in equal measure. If you want a Christmas picture then stick with "It's A Wonderful Life" or even "A Muppet's Christmas Carol" if the kids are with you. And if you want to make sure that your family stay away from you this Christmas or at any other time of year then "Santa With Muscles" will do the trick. My only comfort I take from this experience is that there can't be much worse out there, at least if IMDb is correct.

ij-holmes ...could you find a wrestler playing a millionaire who thinks he's Santa Claus sword fighting a guy in an astronaut suit with a crystal broken off from a mine underneath a church. When you have that picture in your mind, you've already seen the only part of this movie worth watching, if you can even call it that.Don't watch this movie.Don't rent this movie.Don't stay on the channel on which this movie is playing.Forget this movie exists.If you must see it, make sure you are compensated financially for your trouble. If you can avoid seeing it, AVOID IT.You'll be doing your brain a favor.

jts0405 Santa With Muscles is supposed to be a comedy, I guess, but it really doesn't bring the laughs at all. You don't find yourself laughing with the movie, but instead laughing at it and how incredibly cheesy it is. Hulk Hogan really needed to take his name off the project, because it would've done him a lot of good in his shortly lived acting career. I don't even get the plot to all of this, he is a millionaire that thinks he's Santa Claus, wow a preschooler could come up with that idea and make this whole movie look a lot better in the process. I am not bashing Hogan, because I did like him as a wrestler but as an actor the stuff he has done has really sucked. This belongs on the bottom 100.1/10

michael-teige The minutes spent watching this turkey is time that would be best spent shaving your head with a cheese grater while chewing on tin foil. Trustme when I say this activity would be far more enjoyable then watching Hulk Hogan and his buddies indulge themselves in this load of garbage. Hogans acting is terribly stiff and the script makes little or no sense. What orphanage has all but 3 children, a woman who oversees them, and GARRETT MORRIS, of SNL fame? Where is the logic in attacking someone with styrofoam candy canes? Since when can you hook a bumper of a fast moving vechicle with a chain, stop it and not rip off the bumper in the process? And watching Ed Leslie (Brutus the Barber Beefcake to all you WWF fans) as an oriental villain is not as funny as it sounds. All in all probably the worst Hogan movie of all time and that is not saying much.