ThiefHott Too much of everything

Baseshment I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

Arianna Moses Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

Kirandeep Yoder The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

whojoedaddy-37901 It's a fun movie that's definitely heavily defined by the 80s. It will not blow you mind, but it will make you laugh. Hope you like slapstick and tits. The first time I saw this was in 2016 and it reminds me of a dumbed down cross between home alone and blazing saddles. My wife disagrees with me and wonders if I've ever seen blazing saddles, so maybe my opinion is sketchy.I really can't believe people were able to write more than a few lines about this movie. It's really just a simple fun movie. I would give it a 6.75/10. A few drinks in or a drinking game adds to the movie going experience.

TOMASBBloodhound It isn't every day you can watch Andrew "Dice" Clay slap around Johnny Depp in a movie. Or see Blanche from the Grease movies down a whole bottle of Quaaludes. Or see Hector Elizondo running around with a reverse Mohawk.... the list goes on. But these are just some of the things you'll see in this very enjoyable comedy from a bye gone era of film-making. Private Resort has a plot so minimal that one really would be hard pressed to describe it. I guess you could say that it is about two young men (Depp & Morrow) who visit a posh oceanside resort hoping to meet girls. They meet several, and along the way they get mixed up with an evil jewel thief played by Hector Elizondo. The action is played out in a series of chase scenes through the hotel, attempted hook-ups, and even a shootout at the end. Roll credits.Private Resort scores on many fronts. First of all, this film knows it's a sex comedy. So it also knows that in order for the audience to get their money's worth, there has to be a lot of nudity. And this film does not disappoint in that department. Even the guys get naked! You bet! Johnny Depp is fully nude at one point. We only see his backside, but I'll bet his female (and some male) fans will be totally satisfied. It appears this film was made before he started getting all of those tattoos. I didn't notice one on him. The film relies on physical comedy or "slapstick" for most of the laughs. The script has few memorable lines, but it really doesn't need them to get the point across. That poor guy who plays the head of hotel security continually gets the crap beat out of him as the action unfolds. So does Elizondo.Depp is appealing in one of his earliest roles. I doubt that he was asked many questions about it when he went Inside the Actor's Studio, however. Maybe Depp looks back on this film and smiles as he remembers a more simple time in his life. Who knows? Morrow as the more shy one of the two main characters is also very likable. It's good to see he still works, too. Andrew Clay is featured, and this is before he became known as the "Diceman". He is shirtless on one scene, and he appears to have more hair on his shoulders than on his entire back! Really, there isn't much more one can say about this film. It hits all the notes it intended to hit. The cast takes juvenile material and makes the most of it. Elizondo in particular stands out. You can even sense a few ad-libs he may have thrown in in some scenes that add to the fun. Also, there is a welcomed appearance by the large-chested policewoman from the Police Academy movies. The film hasn't even aged all that badly, except for the obvious changes in female swimwear. But, since most of the women in the film end up naked in their scenes, it really doesn't matter what they're wearing, does it? 6 of 10 stars.It was fun when I was in 8th grade, and it still is today!!! The Hound.

Chrysanthepop Obviously this isn't a movie to be taken seriously and it may even be arguably offensive to women but I would take 'Private Resort' any day over the supposed 'comedy' flicks that feature the likes of Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan. There isn't much in terms of story. It's pretty much about two young men in their early twenties who go to a private resort to get laid. Meanwhile a jewel thief looks to steal a diamond necklace from a martial arts expert grandmother. It's definitely very silly but highly amusing. There's plenty of slapstick and overall cheesiness but the humour works and it has the right energy. Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow's on-screen camaraderie is a delight to watch as they provide the funniest scenes. Both actors have come a long way since and it was fun to see them as their young selves playing horny kids. Hector Elizondo is funny too. There's plenty of nudity to keep the viewer further entertained. It also depicts the 80's fashion (with big puffy hair and funny clothes). Overall, it's a fun little flick that has some nostalgic value.

Gordon-11 This film is about two young guys' testosterone-fueled crazy weekend in a beach resort.Watching this film is almost painful, as the plot is poorly written and the jokes are very lame. Seriously am I supposed to laugh when the head of security is knocked over the tenth time? Is it funny to watch two guys walk into a squirting fire extinguisher, and shout that they have to get out of that? The jokes are so lame that they are downright silly. nudity is usually fine, but the level and the treatment of nudity is disrespectful and tasteless. I am thoroughly disappointed by this film, it is worse than even a B film.