GamerTab
That was an excellent one.
SoTrumpBelieve
Must See Movie...
Stellead
Don't listen to the Hype. It's awful
Wqdi
Some other review mentioned "minor cleavage" in the Stella Stevens shower scene... well on NETFLIX she is shown full nipples and they are huge pre-implant natural breasts worth the price of admission.As a young boy growing up in the 80's Stella Stevens was a staple in many TV movies and programs like "Magnum P.I.". She was certainly an inspiration to more than one young mans lusty thoughts.Like the later deleted topless scene from the movie "Swamp Thing" starring Adrienne Barbeau, where her spectacular assets were displayed in all their glory, this movie contains an historic moment.10 stars just for Stella Stevens glorious orbs in their natural delicious (and wet) beauty.
kclipper
This funny and sometimes charming slapstick parody of monster films and mockery of the old "monster in the closet" children's bedtime phobia features some interesting debut performances including, 6'5" Pittsburgh native, Kevin Peter Hall who starred as the original 'Predator', and pop singer, Stacey Ferguson (Fergie) as a child actor. Released by Troma Pictures, this little exercise in satirical humor never takes itself seriously even at its most violent (which isn't very intense anyway given its PG rating). A superman alter-ego-type named Clark is a journalist trying to uncover the mysterious "closet murders" in a small city by what appears to be a random rampaging beast of some sort that travels from closet to closet. Police and citizens are baffled until the monster shows itself, and that's when things really get silly. Clark teams up with a cute, conservative teacher (Denise DuBarry) and Sheriff (Claude Akins) to find a way to stop the snarling monstrosity (Kevin Peter Hall in a rubber suit). This also has some zany performances by Donald Moffet , John Carradine as a blind old man and Henry Gibson as an eccentric scientist. The final solution for this absurdity is a real hoot! "Destroy all closets!" Shot in 1983, but not released until 1987, anyone with even the slightest sense of humor will chuckle at this overlooked little flick.
craigman
Wow, I just saw this on T.V. as one of the "scary" movies they show around Halloween. Was this rated G? There wasn't really anything to make this movie scary, or worth watching. Also, other people say this is a spoof, but I don't think so. For a spoof, you need something called "humor". This low-budget crap-fest didn't have a shred of humor, and it didn't make much sense, either. You basically have a goofy looking monster (man in rubber suit) coming out of closets, killing people, I guess, since you never see the monster doing violence to anyone or any bloody aftermath. The spinning newspaper tells you that people were killed by the monster, so I guess that's good enough.The military tries feebly to kill the monster, which isn't much larger than a man. They have very bad aim. Then the military FLEES! Wow, did this movie make the U.S. military look pathetic or what? The monster, while hard to kill, doesn't do much besides shuffle around and roar. Oh, and occasionally a second head pops out of its mouth and shrieks. It was a slightly interesting, yet a total Alien ripoff.What was the deal with the scientist playing the Xylophone to attract the monster? It was hard to understand a lot of the dialog due to the poor sound quality. Also, why did the monster carry around the main wimpy guy for so long? Why didn't the monster go into the closet when it had a chance? Why do I insist on trying to make sense out of the senseless?
lambiepie-2
Okay..I'll admit..I was a kid when I saw this on cable...and I liked it. Why? Because way before "Monsters, Inc." and "Pixar" there was this.
And because I always thought there was SOMETHING in the closet waiting for me when my parents turned off the lights. This was not a cinema masterpiece, but a fun piece of fluff that spoofed other 'horror' films -- and the idea that a monster was REALLY in your closet as well."Monster in the Closet" did its job -- its silly, funny, entertaining. I just wish they would show this more than some of the OTHER 1,000 re-run showings of films on satellite and cable. If you can see it - try. Remember, I wrote that this film isn't an "Oscar" contender -- but it is kinda -- fun.
