Cathardincu Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Unlimitedia Sick Product of a Sick System

Stevecorp Don't listen to the negative reviews

Arianna Moses Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

battleroyales This was bad. Real bad. I always wondered why I found so many copies of it strewn across the shelves in charity shops, but now I know why. The movie, unwanted by pretty much everyone who bought a copy, has nothing on the promising title. It's a flop from the start. Corden and his friend, who's name I didn't bother to even research, were unlikable and irritating protagonists, on their quest to get with some girls. But boy, such a shame all these girls in this here town are lesbian vampires! (Hold for raucous laughter and applause). Basically, they meet some chicks that rattle off a ton of exposition, these girls are kidnapped by lesbian vampires and turned, dick jokes and gay jokes ensue, they slaughter the lesbians, and ride off into the sunset. It's not even that I'm offended by gay jokes, but you might as well have them be funny if you're gonna go for it. And like, you might want to hire some competent actors if you want to make a movie. This just feels like nobody was trying. It's like they wanted to be Shaun of the Dead, decided it was too much effort, found the worst talent in Britain, and wrote the script in about twenty minutes. I think I laughed once, which I'm ashamed of, because it means admitting I enjoyed even one aspect of the thoroughly awful Lesbian Vampire Killers. I advise you to give this one a miss, because even though it's relatively short, it'll feel like an eternity.

dsalouk Lesbian Vampire Killers is surprisingly not as bad as expected, considering the title. There is no trick; it is clearly a film about lesbian vampire killers, but it uses English humour similar to the Inbetweeners to parody the horror tropes of vampire genre films. James Corden is the highlight with his apathetic attitude throughout, and his crazy childish desire for booze and breasts. It is a deliberately silly film, as to be expected, and in its silliness can on the occasion be fun and entertaining. It is nothing special, but for a title that naturally makes it an assumed boy's fest, it does not incite the need to gouge one's eyes out.

craig-hopton A poor movie whose only real merit is the effectiveness of the James Corden/Matthew Horne buddy relationship fronting it up.Lesbian Vampire Killers is of course intended to be a spoof of gross-out horror movies, so it's difficult to criticise it too much for the pathetic attempts at creating fearful vampirical lesbians.So it's a good job that plenty of room is allowed for Corden to deliver a series of moderately amusing one-liners such as "Even dead women'd sooner sleep with each other than get with me it would appear." Unfortunately, by the climax, the comedy is well and truly exhausted and the movie really creaks at the seams as the heroes go about defeating the vampire queen by means of a phallus-handled sword.

Framescourer Like the lad's magazines whose custom base this 'film' is aimed at, there are models posing as actors without much clothing and a pair of unlikely lads cracking post-Pegg & Frost type jokes. The script is indescribably bad, beige chat peppered with hokey, irony-impermeable Medievalisms and stumbling over James Corden's psychotic need to make jokes that he needn't. Employing Paul McGann is an impotent bid for the cult market. The ideas are expended by a third of the way through - a possible digression over the vicar's daughter is wasted and a belated attempt to bring it back from the dead half-hearted. With the exception of the effortfully professional lighting, design and under-the-circumstances photography this is a complete waste of everybody's time and money. 1/10