Pacionsbo
Absolutely Fantastic
filippaberry84
I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.
Lidia Draper
Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.
Ken (TV_Ken)
I was sick in bed and needed something to watch. This made me sicker.Some of the very worst acting and script I have ever seen. Your time would be better spent watching paint dry.The plot makes no sense.The special effects were the least special I have ever seen.This is a waste of my time writing this review, but I have to write enough to save some other poor sole from having to endure the fiasco of a movie.It starts with an all girl team of soldiers with no explanation of why there are no men. I suspect it was hard finding men to appear in this movie. One of the girls thinks they will not be taken seriously by people at the destination if they are not in full battle gear. This is the only line in the movie that makes sense.
jeparham
Things I asked myself while watching this turd: 1. "Why is a military weapons project headquartered in what is obviously a water or waste-water treatment plant?" 2. "Why, if they were simply transporting to Germany, did they have assault rifles with them? And if they thought they needed assault rifles, why didn't they bring lots of ammo? 3. "Why are they all wearing wife-beaters?" 4. "If they were 'professional soldiers', why did the first one to see the T-Rex just start firing her weapon without actually aiming it?" 5. "Why couldn't the spider get to the girl in the hole under the log, when it had obviously placed the "cocooned" soldier there after it had wrapped her up in its web?" 6. "Why, when they found a spider web that 'must have been created by a spider 7 feet in diameter', did they not turn around AND LEAVE"? 7.a "Christa, Christa, it's Emily. Can you hear me?" 7.b "Emily? Is that you?" 8. "Wow.. it was fortunate that someone had the foresight to make it possible to detach the reactor with a single rocker switch so they could jettison it when the magma animal bit into it." 9. "The 'DD' comes out of the volcano in the sky... so why doesn't any magma fall out after it?" 10. "A laser cannon. Seriously? A laser cannon? And from the hip she manages to hit the spider right in the kill spot on the first shot?" And the acting... yeesh. I expected a lesbian orgy to break out at any moment.All in all, the best part of this movie was when the silhouette of the baby spider can be seen climbing on their gear... because that was, thankfully, the end of this waste of cellulose.
Vic_max
By every account this is a terribly bad movie. Why do I give it so many stars (well, 4 out 10)? Because the cheese factor kind of works in it's favor ... for me. It's got some sort of sick charm that appeals to 1 out of every 50 people and I guess I'm that 1 person.Given that in 2008, 2 other Journey to the Center of the Earth movies were made (one Theatrical, one for the Hallmark TV channel) ... what spin could this one take? An all-female cast for starters (well, there is one slightly older middle-aged guy present, but he doesn't count), and teleportation to add a little novelty.Here's the setup: a military team of women are using a relatively new teleportation machine to zip over to Germany. Their path takes them through the center of the Earth (well, only 600km deep) ... and something goes wrong and they get stuck in said location. The hot female scientist who designed the machine is now just finished work on a nuclear-powered, laser-blasting deep digging machine. This is what's used to rescue the lost women.Part of the cheese factor for me is that in spite of a low budget, ridiculous cast and idea and clear special effects goofs (I don't think we're meant to see clouds underground) ... everyone in the movie tries to be serious. The result is a kind of offbeat amusement. In fact, I'm actually pretty impressed that the film makers didn't go the "T&A" route; the girl with the lip-ring in the beginning almost gets you thinking otherwise.Anyway, I do not recommend watching this movie. However, if you believe that you may happen to like knucklehead adaptations of "Journey to the ..." movies, then by all means check it out. I kind of liked it.
jackandsami
I don't usually post... but had to on this one. I'm guessing the marketing pitch went something like this, "Okay... we release this piece of roughly cobbled together footage from the cut-room floor from an old sci-fi flick that was killed for good reason 20 years ago at the exact same time as Brenden Frazier's 'Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D', call it by the exact same name and hope nobody notices. Who wants in?!" My wife kept jokingly asking, "Is this a 'Sweded' version of a 'real' movie?" (see "Be Kind, Rewind" for concept of "Sweding"). Honestly. An all female combat unit who is neither on a combat mission nor behave like soldiers. Poor whip-cams and badly edited cut scenes. Special "ship effects" that have repeat-cells (remember Scooby-Doo cartoons? Remember how the background kept "repeating" when the gang would run down a hallway). Horrific dialogue, audio mixing (it was like watching old Kung-Fu movies... lip flaps don't match the dialogue... crap, the Japanese Anime we watch does a better job than THIS movie did!), acting, direction, photography...honestly, the only thing even remotely redeeming was the lame attempt to give Homage to Aliens (pirated dialogue "Hey... you look just like i feel...", an easily identifiable "Hudson", and even a gratuitous "chest bursting" concept), which would have been mildly funny if it wasn't attempting to take itself seriously.
