I Don't Buy Kisses Anymore

1992
5.9| 1h50m| PG| en| More Info
Released: 24 April 1992 Released
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Bernie Fishbine is overweight. He stops at the neighborhood store to buy some chocolate kisses every day. This is where he meets Theresa Garabaldi. Then they take the same bus route every evening. Theresa invites Bernie to see her play piano at her father's restaurant. It is here that she gets him to join a gym. Theresa is in college and gets the idea to write about Bernie's weight problem for her thesis. She does this without telling Bernie. Meanwhile, Bernie is falling in love with Theresa, and vice versa.

Genre

Comedy, Romance

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Director

Robert Marcarelli

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I Don't Buy Kisses Anymore Audience Reviews

Scanialara You won't be disappointed!
Stometer Save your money for something good and enjoyable
Exoticalot People are voting emotionally.
Candida It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.
pensman First, this little time waster has a great supporting cast including Lainie Kazan, Lou Jacobi, and Eileen Brennan. Watching these pros do their thing is enough to make you watch. Well if you are around my age; if you are too young you probably don't know them, which is unfortunate.Bernie Fishbine ( Jason Alexander) meets Theresa Garabaldi (Nia Peeples) on a bus and for Bernie there is some immediate kismet and when Theresa invite Bernie to her family's restaurant where she sings, he's hooked. Bernie is a tad overweight and is self-conscious about his weight, his looks, his job, and his family. Bernie lives with his mother and grandfather and runs the family store, a job he hates. His older brother is the family success and Bernie is pretty much the family schlemiel who is run by his mom.Theresa convinces Bernie he can improve himself by enrolling in the gym she works at. She tells Bernie that she too was overweight and cried herself to sleep on many occasions. She convinces Bernie she can relate to him. Bernie joins and successfully drops about 25 pounds. The more weight he drops the stronger he feels about Theresa. Theresa is in need of a subject for her thesis. A friend convinces her to write about Bernie. Her topic becomes writing about an obese man and his struggle to lose weight.After a number of false starts, Bernie and Therese begin to date. Theresa even takes Bernie home to meet her family. Bernie's mother is not so happy her son is seeing an Italian shiksa.Bernie decides he is going to ask Theresa to marry him. He has the ring and stops by her apartment to surprise her. She lets him in, but Theresa has been in the shower and retreats to the bathroom to finish drying off. While Theresa is absent, Bernie walks about the kitchen and finds the thesis. He reads it and realizes everything about Theresa is a lie. She was never fat; and he is the obese man who is the central subject. Theresa finds Bernie reading and there is an expected eruption from Bernie who flees the apartment, crushed.Bernie decides he needs to get away from Theresa and his overbearing family and takes off for a vacation in Cancun. While Bernie is gone, his mother finds the ring and is shocked how close she was to having a shiksa in the family. When Bernie returns he finds his mother has already set up a dinner with a nice Jewish girl. Bernie blows up again and it looks like he will be returning to his bad habits: eating Hershey kisses from the local candy shop.It's a nice story with characters you like and care about. You will need to watch to see if there is a happy resolution. Jason Alexander does a good job and it's nice to see him in a show that was probably completed just before Seinfeld.
alli_katz This is a sweet little film with good performances and a wonderful supporting cast. Mia Peebles is marvelous as the manipulative grad student who plays with Jason Alexander's emotions. And, Alexander is perfect as the overweight under-achiever looking for something better in his life.
Robert Nicholas (Rob-77) Okay so if you like George from Seinfeld then you are going to enjoy this movie. Jason Alexander as Bernie Fishbine is the ever lovable George all over again. With all of his usual hang-ups over weight, getting a gal, and generally being a grown up Charlie Brown.Although this movie is almost a decade old, it's sentiments are pretty much universal. That is, it is the tried and true formulae- boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl hurts boy, boy forgives girl and the rest is history.All in all a good rainy day movie. Bring a big bag of popcorn and some Bacci's - they go well with this flick.