Redwarmin This movie is the proof that the world is becoming a sick and dumb place

Odelecol Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

Frances Chung Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Juana what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

thesar-2 50 Shades of Red, X-Red and Red Eye for the Dead Guy would all work as better titles to spoil how much red you'll see in this movie. But, the most red were the herrings. Typical early 80s slasher with all the tropes, but what made this one stand out was how unintentionally funny it was. I laughed hard throughout and was constantly reminded of comedies like Student Bodies and Airplane! It also felt like the actresses all came from the porn ward on floors 6 and 9. I guess that's a good thing for guys who like that sort of thing and it didn't bother me too much. Unlike that damned telephone that wouldn't stop ringing…The setup produced some hearty laughs out of me. Our heroine, Susan, is just swinging by the hospital for a few minutes to pick up test results, but after a few hours of wandering around, acting upset, getting thrown into beds, yelled at and slapped by doctors, she ain't going nowhere.And it's because someone in the hospital keeps making others believe she is worse off than she is. While this diversion works, it's only temporary as this movie needed a higher kill count. Will Susan unmask this killer and survive? Will her test results come back negative? Will someone ever pick up that goddamn phone?It's really not a good movie and has so many plot-holes and lose-ends, it's hardly a recommendation to people outside the fondness I share for 80s Slashers I love so much. ***Final thoughts: My friend, Dustin, described this movie's lead as: "No one exemplifies the height of sophistication like Barbi Benton in 1981's hospital-set slasher X-RAY." But, I might add: She also had some weird- ass nipples. Eh, I guess, to each their own.

Woodyanders Susan Jeremy (a pretty clunky, yet still appealingly sincere performance by gorgeous brunette knockout Barbi Benton) goes to the hospital for a routine check-up. However, poor Susan finds herself being stalked in said hospital by a mysterious psycho. Directed with astonishing all-thumbs maladroitness by Boaz Davidson, with loads of laughably obvious red herring probable suspects (skeevy drunk, weird janitor, sinister physicians, and so on), a ludicrous script by Marc Behm, clumsy attempts at suspense, an absurd heavy-breathing maniac, uproariously over the top murder set pieces, an overblown hum'n'shiver synthesizer score by Arlon Ober that comes complete with a campy shrieking chorus screaming up a storm during the more intense ooga-booga moments, and a colorful assortment of oddball patients (the trio of hideous old hags in Susan's hospital room are positively hysterical!), this hopelessly ham-fisted clunker plays like an unintentionally hilarious send-up of the slice'n'dice horror sub-genre. Making Susan a bitchy and snippy divorcée certainly doesn't help matters any. Fortunately, Barbi does indeed bare her exquisitely enormous breasts in a wonderfully leering, gratuitous, and protracted physical examination sequence. Only Nicholas Von Sternberg's glossy cinematography manages to transcend the general gut-busting ineptitude. An absolute schlocky hoot.

Scott LeBrun Among the small sub-subgenre of horror movies that are the hospital slashers - also including "Halloween II" (1981) and "Visiting Hours" - is this kooky story of murder. One realizes early on just how absurd the whole thing is. Story author and director Boaz Davidson ("The Last American Virgin") adds enough offbeat and humorous touches to his presentation to make this something other than the typical slasher. Slasher fanatics may be disappointed that the body count isn't larger, but some of the murders are effectively gory and sadistic, and lead actress Barbi Benton, the Playboy icon and companion to Hugh Hefner for several years, shows off the goods in a pervy examination scene.The story begins with a child named Susan who reacts with laughter to receiving a Valentine from admirer Harold. Well, good old Harold is more than a little unhinged, so even after impaling Susans' friend Dave on a coatrack, he's still mad as a hatter. And 19 years later when Susan (now played by the luscious Ms. Benton), a mother and divorcée, heads into a hospital to pick up her test results, he contrives a way to make her stay, by falsifying her results and making it look like she's terminally ill. Hospital staff start to get slaughtered (albeit intermittently) and Susan must deal with an infuriating bunch of doctors and nurses while also trying to stay alive.Just to give you an idea of how Davidson approaches such material, there's the inclusion of three strange elderly female patients (one of them obviously played by a man in drag) who drive Susan up the wall. He creates some suspense and some atmosphere, but he never takes himself too seriously. The acting isn't inspired but it is serviceable. Benton is a fine screamer and puts up a good fight. Charles Lucia ("Society") is amiable as helpful intern Harry. Jon Van Ness ("The Hitcher") plays Susan's boyfriend Jack adequately. And John Warner Williams is effective at making his character Dr. Saxon the kind of character whom you just want to punch in the face. The opening back story features Elizabeth Hoy as the young Susan and Billy Jayne as Harold; these two had previously co-starred as killer kids in "Bloody Birthday".Pacing is decent, the laughs are frequent, and topping it all off is a priceless, ridiculous music score by Arlon Ober that utilizes a lot of vocalizations.All in all, this is pretty fun stuff for those who like their horror with a healthy sense of humour.Seven out of 10.

Toronto85 Quite a few hospital horror movies were being made around this time such as Halloween II and Visiting Hours. Hospital Massacre isn't released on DVD and is the hardest to find of the bunch. It is also the lesser of the three movies mentioned. Hospital Massacre sounds great in theory, a psychotic killer stalking the halls of a deserted hospital trying to kill a very beautiful woman. But after watching Hospital Massacre, I found out that it isn't all that great unfortunately. The movie starts with the murder of a young boy on Valentine's Day. After another boy named Harry gets "rejected" by our lead character Susan, he murders the young boy she's playing with. Flash forward 20 years now. Susan has a young child and a boyfriend and she is headed the hospital to find out test results from a routine checkup she had done. We then see our killer who is dressed up as a surgeon. He switches her test results to make it seem that she is dying, when then leads to the hospital staff forcefully admitting Susan to the hospital overnight. We get a few kills along the way of nurses, doctors and secretaries. It all leads up the finale and revelation of the murderer.Obviously the killer is Harry from all those years ago. The mystery we have to solve is "who is Harry"? We saw him as a kid so we don't know what he looks like as an adult. The suspects include a couple of doctors, one by the name of Harry (go figure). The murders aren't anything special, sort of bloody but not too much. It's just all so random for me. He kills a bunch of nurses before we even get introduced to them. One second we see Susan talking and then bam, a random nurse gets stabbed. No character development at all.I liked the creepy deserted hospital scenes and a few of the murders were well done like when he is chasing a nurse down the dark hall. But Hospital Massacre felt rushed and very busy. Too many things were going on and yet nothing was being explained. We get that the killer is insane, but why kill all of these random people? There were times he could have easily killed Susan, but he chose to kill hospital staff that for the most part weren't even in his way. It's worth at least one watch for horror fans, but could have been better.5/10