Lovesusti The Worst Film Ever

BootDigest Such a frustrating disappointment

InformationRap This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

Fleur Actress is magnificent and exudes a hypnotic screen presence in this affecting drama.

MBunge It's not always pleasant to revisit your childhood. Some of the things you loved back then stand the test of time. Star Wars is still great, Dr. Who of the 1970s and 60s remains, below-bargain-basement special effects aside, a fun and well done little program and The Incredible Hulk is better than any attempt to meld a gamma radiation-spawned monster with The Fugitive has any right to be. A lot of the stuff you loved as a kid, however, doesn't survive adult scrutiny. That's because you and I and everybody else don't really know enough when we're young to tell when something sucks. I recall seeing an episode of the original Thundercats cartoon and being struck by how the animation was still very pretty and reasonably fluid, but the storytelling was…so…unbelievably…slow.Well, when I was a child I loved G.I. Joe. I loved the toys, which were the smaller, hard-plastic action figures and not the bigger one with the real hair and clothes you could take off. I loved the cartoon. And I really loved the comic book. As a grown man I can say with complete confidence that the toys and the comic book are still pretty cool, at least until Hasbro's continual deluge of newer and stupider additions to the line destroyed the creative integrity of each. And yes, action figures and comic books about those action figures can have creative integrity. As for the cartoon…?Well, I haven't seen an episode in a good long while and this film-length version makes it hard to judge because this is rather a long way from what the regular show was like. G.I. Joe: The Movie was apparently made by people who said to themselves "You know what would improve our cartoon about a crack U.S. military team vs. a fearsome terrorist group? Let's make it more like Sectaurs! And let's create a new bad guy with the biggest ass in animated history!"The story is about the hidden society of Cobra-La, led by the evil Golobulus (Bergess Meredith), which sent Cobra Commander (Chris Latta) out into the world to destroy human civilization. After years of Cobra Commander proving the only thing he's good at is running away, Golobulus has decided to take charge and orders the seizing of an energy transmitter which he will use to shower the Earth with spores that will mutate Mankind. G.I. Joe gets in his way and various battles where no one gets killed ensue, leading up to a final confrontation where Lt. Falcon (Don Johnson), a reckless and irresponsible soldier, finally proves himself worth of saying "Yo, Joe!" Oh, and Duke (Michael Bell) dies, only to have the movie producers chicken out and have new dialog dubbed in that he was just put into a coma and recovered.Putting aside Cobra-La's Nemesis Enforcer and how he clearly inspired a lot of the character design at Image Comics in the 1990s, the attempt to inject some sci-fi and almost Lovecraftian horror into G.I. Joe is a massive stinkburger. It doesn't even come close to fitting in with the established concept and has to rank as one of the greatest creative missteps of all time. Golobulus and company are the "Greedo shoots first" of G.I. Joe and the only reason it's not as infamous is because this movie came out when we were kids and far less prone to obsessing over one of our favorite things turning to crap.On the other hand, the animation isn't terrible and the voice work, outside of Don Johnson, is as good as I remember. This flick is certainly action-packed, though amazingly repetitive, and Chris Latta's Cobra Commander remains a great juvenile adventure villain. While this film isn't any good, it makes me suspect the original TV show might not look that bad to my now-adult eyes.So, skip G.I. Joe: The Movie and give the original cartoon a try. You might be pleasantly surprised.

kutuplar I think 'GI Joe: The Movie' is not made for children. It's a very detailed movie with interesting events. The best points of the movie is Cobra Commander's turning into a snake, and the origin of Serpentor. Serpentor's DNA was designed by the leader of Cobras, the DNA was a combination of genious humans' (such as Einstein) DNAs. But the result wasn't so successful. I think this movie could be a great thriller, if it was made more cleverly, because the story is wonderful. Ages ago, the world was ruled by Cobras, where the human were stupid creatures, but atmospheric conditions forced Cobras to hide, and the human race were raised. Now Cobras want the world back!

dutnam SPOILERS!! Where else are you gonna find Burgess Merideth, Don Johnson and Sgt. Slaughter all together? Mix them in with our GI Joe team and you got one big production on your hands.Much to Dr. Mindbenders surprise, there is more to Serpentors past than we were all told in "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!". When Cobra is infiltrated by a strange mutant woman, a story unfolds like something from the Twilight Zone.GI Joe is testing the Broadcast Energy Transmitter (BET), a device that sends power through the air like radio waves, when Cobra attacks. The Joes drive Cobra into retreat with major damage to their side. Serpentor is knocked out and taken prisoner. Duke takes a snake arrow in the chest that was meant for Lt. Falcon, his younger half brother, and goes into a coma. Cobra Commander leads them into a haven which turns out to be where he grew up...Cobra La. Many Joes followed and were captured or worse. Led by Golobulus (part man, part snake, part crustacian), Nemesis Enforcer (large manbat) and Pythona (sexy & venomous) take in their weary troops and make plans to free Serpentor and steal the BET.Lt. Falcon abandoned his post, guarding Serpentor. Cobra and Cobra La made their way in, taking out troops and equipment as they go. Lt. Falcon is court martialed and sentenced to major retraining at the SlaughterHouse, a rigorous training camp ran by Sgt. Slaughter. Once Serpentor is Freed and taken to Cobra La, his past is revealed, as is the history of Cobra Commander and his banishment. Then Golobulus explains his plans to launch mutation spores into orbit and ripen them with the energy from the BET. Then as they fall to Earth, they will mutate everyone on the planet except those in the Ice Dome of Cobra La. When Cobra Commander is used as a demonstration, he is mutated into a snakeman. When the captured Joes attempt their escape, Roadblock is the only one who makes it out but is blinded by another spore pod. He finds the mutated Cobra Commander and together work their way back to the original battlefield where they find the other Joes.Cobra La mops the floor with the joes at "THE PITT" (GI JOES command center) and steal the BET out from under them. Joe, in turn sends the full force to COBRA LA to knock out Cobra, Cobra La, free the Joes, get back the BET, and stop the Mutation spores.....a task nearly impossible for a full on attack force of GI JOE......except one....Enter Sgt. Slaughter. He and his band of marauders join up and help take back the battle, the war and the planet.Great animation and acting. Very good movie.

blackarachnia2 I speak badly of G.I.J.:T.M. mostly because I think it lacked something that G.I. Joe had. Yes It had something that G.I. Joe didn't have like celebrity cameos by Don Johnson, and Burgess Meredith but I think G.I. Joe: The Movie lacked the passion for the characters that the G.I. Joe TV series had. Most of the voice over artists really sounded like they were dead pan and they were going to die at anytime now. It's a good movie but I wouldn't say that it was the greatest movie in the world I.M.H.O. :)Although violence is what G.I. Joe was built on I'd say that Serpentor striking Duke in his chest wasn't the very best way for Charlie Adler's character to go out. Neither was seeing Golobulus remind Cobra Commander why he was chosen to lead the Cobra forces and then being horribly mutated after he failed to deliver what Cobra-La felt was rightfully theirs.It wasn't the best way for the G.I. Joe series to go out but it's better than nothing. :)