Cubussoli Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

Stometer Save your money for something good and enjoyable

ThedevilChoose When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

Derrick Gibbons An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

JohnHowardReid Copyright 1957. A Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer picture. New York opening at the Radio City Music Hall: 14 November 1957. U.K. release: 17 March 1958. Australian release: 23 December 1957. 109 minutes. SYNOPSIS: Armed only with typewriters and vivid imaginations, public relations men tell the world about the U.S. Navy during WW2. Unfortunately, their plans to present a genuine naval hero to the public hit a snag when they discover he is a foul-mouthed idiot.NOTES: Despite the best efforts of a talented roster of players, William Brinkley's best-selling autobiography is neither as funny nor as convincing on-screen as it was in print. Partly to blame is the studio's decision to abandon the autobiographical slant of the book and even give Brinkley himself a new name. Another boner was to supply a tepid love interest. COMMENT: This is the film that catapulted minor character player Mickey Shaughnessy to a brief period of super-stardom opposite such lights as Elvis Presley and Cornel Wilde. Certainly his scenes are by far the funniest and most cleverly handled in the whole movie. The rest of this otherwise mild curry was given another brief dash of spice by Eva Gabor (though not enough to outshine Mr. Shaughnessy). Gia Scala, alas, makes a somewhat colorless heroine. Flat direction from Charles Walters doesn't help either.

wes-connors On a picturesque South Pacific island, during World War II, a US Navy base handles public relations. Unmarried star lieutenant Glenn Ford (as Max Siegel) takes visiting congressmen on a tour. Beautiful native schoolteacher Gia Scala (as Melora Alba) catches his eye. Enlisted sailor Earl Holliman (as Adam Garrett) likes the way pretty perfumed Anne Francis (as Alice Tomlen) "crosses her legs." Laidback young Russ Tamblyn (as Tyson) doesn't like washing teen-spirited sheets for war reporter Keenan Wynn (as Gordon Ripwell). Comic commander Fred Clark (as Clinton "Marblehead" Nash) is in charge. If you stick around, you'll see head-turning Eva Gabor (as Deborah "Debbie" Aldrich and foul-mouthed Mickey Shaughnessy (as Farragut Jones)...The all-star cast is likable. However, the juvenile romances, snickering innuendo and silly slapstick don't mix well. Best part is a very funny episode involving Mr. Shaughnessy reputedly using what is politely called "The F-word," but you have to wade through much tediousness to get there. The title "Don't Go Near the Water" refers to the fact that the characters play on dry land – well, until we see Ms. Gabor's lacy black underwear. This was based on a novel, which suggests there might have been a more interesting story somewhere. Although Glenn Ford was then too big a movie star to do it, this would have made a fine half-hour situation comedy starring Mr. Ford, Mr. Clark and Mr. Tamblyn, who provide a solid anchor and cover their demographics.***** Don't Go Near the Water (11/14/57) Charles Walters ~ Glenn Ford, Fred Clark, Russ Tamblyn, Earl Holliman

betsmith6 Another 50s service comedy that seemed like a pilot for a television series. You had the slapstick building of the officers club; the romance between the enlisted man and the nurse officer; the courtship of the native girl and Glenn Ford; the blackmailing of the journalist to repair the new school house; teaching the manufactured hero sailer to clean up his language when going out on Victory bond tours. Reasonabilty well done with a lot of familiar faces. One off-putting scene came towards the end when magazine reporter Eva Gabor sneaks off to experience an island assault. She comes back with her face smudged and cooing about how much she enjoyed the experience and how wonderful it was. I always thought those Pacific landings by Marines and solders were horrific blood baths, particularly if this was supposed to be Okinawa or Iwo Jima. I suppose if it was the first day of the landings, the heaviest fighting might not have begun, but we know that a steady stream of dead and wounded are on the way. There was no mention of casualties in this movie that emphasized the fun side of war.

Robert D. Ruplenas This tale of the absurdist goings-on at a public relations office for the navy in the WWII pacific theater is sort of a downscale "South Pacific." The casting and production values are extremely high, but the movie never aspires to anything more than light (extremely light) entertainment. In this it succeeds quite well. The movie is great to look at, and the comic abilities of Glenn Ford - an underrated actor, in my book - are at their peak. No lasting nourishment here, but a fun flick to see - once. Side note - the movie is another example of the superiority of the color processes employed in the 50's and late 40's over what is commonly used in today's flicks.