CrawlerChunky In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

Derry Herrera Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

Rosie Searle It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Nicole I enjoyed watching this film and would recommend other to give it a try , (as I am) but this movie, although enjoyable to watch due to the better than average acting fails to add anything new to its storyline that is all too familiar to these types of movies.

idontneedyourjunk A retired black ops colonel has his daughter kidnapped by a former south American dictator who was overthrown years ago by the colonel and his team.Now he is being forced to assassinate the president they put into power.The ex-dictator has already taken revenge on all of the team except two: Colonel John Matrix, and discharged-soldier-turned-mercenary, Wez Bennett.Kicked out of the force by Matrix, and by all accounts is pretty gay for Matrix, is taking revenge the only way he knows how: by dressing up as Freddy Mercury and getting excited by big knives, ifyouknowwhatimean.But I'm getting ahead of myself. Matrix is retired, living in the middle of nowhere.Somehow, his whole team who have new identities, have been tracked down and killed (turns out it's Bennett with a new crew).The way in which they find him, says the dictator, is by killing Matrix' old crew so they could follow General Kirby to where he was. But Kirby flies in on a chopper to the middle of nowhere and they're already setup for the ambush. Whatever.After they get away with his daughter, they bundle him onto a plane to go assassinate the American-installed dictator. But he jumps out of the plane on takeoff, and so begins the ever so casual dismissal of real-world physics.Okay, I can accept gun blasts that send people flying like they just got tackled by a 120kg linebacker. It looks dramatic.And I can accept a car rolling downhill through forest, hitting trees and rocks that not only doesn't slow down but gets faster. It adds to the tension and action.But when you jump out of a plane that's doing 220kph? Even into marsh water, you're dead.The only explanation from here, is that he's actually dead. He's now gone to heaven, where he's playing out his greatest wish: to get revenge on those who took his daughter and to live happily ever after.It explains why seconds after swimming out of the marsh, his clothes are completely dry. Anyway.At the airport, he kidnaps a flight attendant (Cindy), ruins her car and follows Sully, one of the bad guys, to a mall. It just so happens to be the same mall that Arnie goes to in T2. I wonder if he had flashbacks? Cindy dobs him in to the mall cops, which ends up with 15 mall cops going to the hospital and 3 bodies to the morgue. In the ensuing 3:07, Cindy makes a new world record for Stockholm Syndrome, pushes a guy down the stairs and becomes Matrix' new bestest friend.{car rant/} They then chase Sully as he drives away. The good guys are in a '65 Sunbeam Alpine IV. The bad guy is in a '69 Porsche 911 Targa.With a 17 second headstart, and an extra passenger, they catch up. They. Catch. Up.Now, I admit I have a bias for Porsche, but come on:Car 0-100kph Top SpeedSunbeam 13.5 160kphPorsche 7.5 230kphAgainst the 911, they might as well be driving a Princess electric iron. {/car rant}All is forgiven when he hangs Sully over the edge of a cliff with one arm (the director wanted him to do it for real) and says"Remember Sully, when I promised to kill you last?"I lied."*drops*(Oh, spoilers?)Skip ahead (he found a hotel key) to his fight against a green beret where he gets to say his other famous line, "fuck you, asshole" ("I'll be back" is in there too). During the fight, they break into an adjoining room where a couple are having sex. The guy is Mikul Robbins, previously in Weird Science.Fun fact, Gene Simmons, then Nick Nolte were originally chosen for the lead role.Can you imagine Nolte delivering the line "I eat green berets for breakfast". Of course we'd know he was talking about the hats and would be totally serious.Matrix then finds a bill that leads them to a dock warehouse that contains map coordinates that lead them to the bad guy's island hideout. This is a pretty complicated setup for an action movie.But before they fly off in a stolen plane, they go shopping for guns. All the guns.He gets arrested by police but Cindy frees him from the paddy wagon by shooting it with a rocket launcher. Okay.As they fly to the island, Paxton gets his mark, as Coast Guard cutter Marauder. I don't know what that means, but it sounds cool. They dip below radar ("We lost them, sir") and fly on to the island.Matrix proceeds to 80's style kill everyone and blow everything up. He messes it up though, and runs from the explosion instead of casually walking away with the explosion in the background. -10 Cool Points.The battle with the last boss is the Australian Bennett aka "Freddie Mercury on steroids" (his own words. Personally, I think it's mostly the moustache), who looks like he's wearing a chainmail vest, but it's actually woolen. His clothing is tight because they were for a previous actor who got fired. They didn't have time to alter anything.They start with guns, move to knives, fists and anything they can get their hands on (pipes, a furnace door, fire, high voltage transformers, 1d4 damage my arse), with a very surprising number of puns. Only 1.The good guy saves the daughter, gets the girl, and rides off into the sunset (in a '42 Grumman Goose, close enough) and somebody else has to clean up the mess.Official body count: 81. A fairytale ending.

stormhawk2018 Arnie's version of Rambo. During the height of the Schwarzenegger/Stallone rivalry, Arnold made Commando, an in your face assault on Rambo. Who is more rip, bigger guns, (both arms and weapons) over the top action, and pure muscle pushes each actor to out do the other, which results in the making of Commando, which is so bad it's good. Cheesy story, with non awarding winning acting is mixed with insane action, muscles, and Dark Humor makes Commando fun to watch. Funny with one liners like " I eat Green Berets for breakfast and I'm hungry" , "He's dead tired", "Let off some steam Bennet" are classics for anyone who has seen Commando. Watch it, live it and love it.10 stars!

TheGDfather Probably one of the greatest action movies ever. And I mean it had everything you wanted in an action movie. Nudity, one liners, violence, and just a plot that really didn't make sense and didn't need to. And it was original from the stand point of just fight scenes alone. I mean this is probably one my favorite along with action jackson. Too many people nowadays just aren't funny. And the movie producers didn't want arnold to talk? What the heck is wrong with them?Arnold was great in this. He didn't say a lot but said enough. Hes whole one man wrecking crew was what the 80's action hero's were made off. And unlike the early 80's we didn't get any cheezy graphics messing it up. And the girl in this movie is amazing. Yeah shes corny as heck. Especially when shes in hotel screaming about macho man stuff. But its great. She doesn't come off like a bimbo. I heard they had a love scene in it. But I'm afraid that wouldn't have sold and I am not going to get into why. They director made a smart move by cutting that out.There we so many great characters in this movie. Bill Duke for one. Is there another better leaking mean guy than him? I do not think so. He played in the predator and this very well. He is also action jacksons captain in the movie. The man can play a hard ass all day and just nail it. So throwing him in your action movie is pretty much a no brainer. I'm in the national guard now and I saw a ton things that just wouldn't work. How he was firing those weapons with hand, how he's throwing grenades. But you know what it didn't matter, it was very great and you were waiting till he met the bad guy. Another thing I like about this movie is they don't wander from the script. There is no other side story period. Just him doing what it takes to get his daughter back. No going deeper into the general's life, nobody cares. They didn't explain matrix very well, they just mentioned he was ex army colonel and his daughter was taking by some guys in south America and he needs to get her back at all cost. Let's go!!Arnold has been in some great action movies. This one I felt was the best. I enjoyed terminator 1 and 2 and the running man, as well even the knew one The last stand but seriously just blow things up and show a few knife fighting scenes and I'm all good.

grantss A retired Special Forces officer, Colonel John Matrix (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger), is living the quiet life. He is happily spending his time in a remote country house where he dotes on his daughter, Jenny (Alyssa Milano). However, some mercenaries, former colleagues of his, have other plans. They kidnap Jenny and give Matrix an ultimatum - assassinate a central American leader or they will kill Jenny. Matrix has other ideas.Incredibly weak and one-dimensional, i.e. your typical Arnie movie. Lame plot: every scene is just a set up for another action sequence. Any character depth or development is token - the scenes where Matrix interacts with his daughter are cringingly lame and superficial.Then, of course, there's the acting, especially Arnie's. He's not there for his acting ability, and it shows. Alyssa Milano, only 12/13 years old at the time, puts in an okayish performance though. Dan Hedaya is badly miscast as the head villain - the role was beneath him and he really deserves better.Only worth watching if you've never seen an explosion or a fight before.