UnowPriceless hyped garbage

ShangLuda Admirable film.

Kaelan Mccaffrey Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

Scarlet The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Htom_Sirveaux I'd like to start off as saying that I, like so many horror film buffs, enjoy the cheap laughs to be acquired from B-grade trash. The film "Campfire Stories," however, isn't even amusing accidentally. I'd love to know how badly Jamie-Lynn DiScala, David Johansen, and the Misfits needed money to partake in this utter waste of celluloid.I knew this one was going to be trouble when I saw a talking skull engulfed in flames at the beginning. From there on in, we have two annoying young men who can't tell a joke correctly get lost in the woods with a beautiful "Sopranos" girl, where they come across Ranger Bill, Buster Poindexter's evil alter-ego. He proceeds to bore them to death with three generic horror tales with relentlessly inane twists at the end of each.The first tale is of a nameless lunatic who escapes the Corbin Bernsen Institute of Dentistry, reestablishes himself as a Catholic high school janitor, and takes out four of the young men they randomly pulled off the street to play the most annoying bullies I've ever seen. The second tale involves three career criminals who rob a Native American spiritualist, smoke his peace pipe (which was obviously filled with whatever the filmmakers were smoking), and are tormented by legions of computer animations created by first-year graphic arts majors from a community college. The third tale involves a homicidal maniac whose identity you'll probably figure out long before it's "revealed."After sitting through these three sessions of ungodly torment, we're finally punished with a "surprise ending" which tries to tie everything together but fails miserably along with everything preceding it. "Campfire Stories" has no scares, no humor, and over all, no redeeming value whatsoever. If you want a real scare, light up a campfire and tell your own stories; they'll be a hundred times scarier than this melted marshmallow.

bordentownfilms Do you want to know what the scariest thing about this movie was? The most disturbing repercussion of this film? The sheer terror behind this stupid video is that through a series of mind-numbing events beyond my control, I returned this hunk of crap five days late and was attacked and devoured by a HIDEOUS MONSTER . . . of a late fee.This is second only to the hideous irony of the time I got an $80 late fee billed directly to my credit card after my friend rented Basketball on my account and never returned it. How's THAT for a campfire story--MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!I knew I was in trouble when in the first minute of the movie, a giant, digital skull floating over computer-generated fire appeared and then went on a five minute rant, reminding me why it was supposed to be scary. Shut up, flaming skull!Then two morons almost run down Jamie-Lynn-Siegler-DiScalia-Soprano in the middle of the woods. To make a long story short, the three of them run into Buster Poindexter sitting by a fire. He's apparently some kind of park ranger that looks like a grown-up boy scout who's maybe got a childhood issue or two that he never got over. Buster Poindexter? Get that out of my face!I truly believe that Jamie-Lynn-Siegler-DiScalia-Soprano would've have done more for her career had she done Showgirls 2 instead of this mess. This is probably the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.The tales made no sense at all. The psycho escapes from the hospital, flash-forward twenty years later. Kids torment the creepy janitor. Could this be a red herring, leading us to believe the wrong guy is the escaped lunatic? Of course not. The janitor IS the killer and even the students at the school know it. Phfft.Here is my single biggest problem with this movie; in the final story where the girl returns to her crazy grandmother's house and kills all her friends and the perv deputy, how is it that her friend and the cop are attacked at the same time by the killer, then the girl runs out to them later, but the friend doesn't realize that SHE was the one who attacked her? Are you kidding me? Did they just stop trying?I'm tired. I'm just so tired. I try, I really do, but how long can you fight the flood of horrible movies? It's like trying to stop the tide from coming in. It'll never stop. There will also be B-Horror hacks out there churning out badly written dialogue attached to transparent plots and Jamie-Lynn-Siegler-DiScalia-Sopranos dying to star in them.At least she's hot.

Boogenhagen77 and by ever I mean of the last 10-12 years. this movie makes jack frost look good. Believe the nay sayers. but then, if you actually are browsing these reviews to consider this movie, you probably have some semblance of what makes a good movie.Don't rent it- you will be compelled to demand another free rental in lieu of the time & $$$ you wasted. just don't watch it. ok it says I gotta write more. ON that skull thing at the beginning: I can make better computer animations with MS paint. Go evesdrop on a random neighbor's conversation- it will provide more interesting dialouge than is in this movie.This movie has the fake-est southern accent I have ever had the sheer chalkboard-against-fingernails repulsion to experience. The villians in the 2nd story I could have beat up in my sleep. those 3 were about as evil as marshmellow peeps.

Lady-of-Rohan *MAJOR SPOILERS! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!*The movie begins with with a digital skull in a roaring campfire talking for about 6 minutes. Seriously, this thing talks for 6 minutes. I couldn't really tell what the heck it was saying because my friends were laughing hysterically so I couldn't hear. Does it really matter what it's saying? Anyways, it's still talking. When it finally finishes, we meet two guys who are on their way to a party in the woods (!) and they blow a tire and come across a girl who is stranded. While they look for help, they come across a creepy ranger/cop that demands that he tells them stories. The ranger/cop tells them three stories, and they are: 1 )A group of boys harass and attempt to kill a mentally insane janitor at school and find the time to beat the hell out of him after school. The janitor gets his revenge by torturing them and cutting off their heads with hacksaws. 2)Three stoner 20-something friends stalk and kill a Native Indian man for his peace pipe. They settle down and enjoy it when they get the life sucked out of them and turn into old people.3) A young girl is terrified that someone is stalking her and believes that it is her boyfriend that taped her and spread the dirty stuff all over the net. She seeks revenge with her best friend by taping their boyfriends in return. Everyone is murdered with a knife, and the audience doesn't know who is committing these grisly murders. They think its the crazy grandma (long story) but it's really the girl. The ranger/cop is done his story time and the threesters are finally allowed to go. The remaining 5 minutes are weird so try to follow along. The tow truck picks the kids up and drops them off at a place where they can make some phone calls. Inside is a weird night club with a Slipknot look-alike band playing. The two guys (where did the girl go?) look a little freaked out, go to the bartender for drinks, they turn around and all the bad guys from the the campfire stories are there in the club. They kill the boys, and the girl runs out screaming of the club and waves down a car and says, "Oh thank goodness you're here. I'm having some car trouble". She then turns to the camera, gives an evil grin, and her eyes turn red. Credits roll. I'm not sure that that evil grin means. Maybe the film makers are trying to make us believe that it was the girl who planned this all out. Who cares. It's a bad movie.Don't rent this film useless your prepared to have a really confused look on your face for 90 minutes. The acting is atrocious, as well and the special-effects (They really are special). The whole film looks like it was filmed with a handy cam. The production is typical High School project status. It probably cost $10 to make. 1/10