ThiefHott Too much of everything

FeistyUpper If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Doomtomylo a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

Kayden This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama

MBunge Botched is a victim of high expectations. It starts out so strongly that you can't help but be disappointed at how it finishes. If there wasn't such a stark difference between the beginning and the end, you could throw it on the same pile with a lot of other horror comedies as another niche entry in a niche genre for a niche audience. But because the opening offers the possibility to be so much more than that, you can't help but be a little more disappointed when it doesn't.Ritchie (Stephen Dorff) is an American thief with a debt to pay to a Russian gangster (Sean Pertwee). After a diamond heist goes wrong and leaves Ritchie empty handed, he's given one more chance to make good. He's ordered to steal a golden cross from the penthouse home of a wealthy Moscow family. Teamed up with a couple of local thugs, Ritchie nabs the cross. But on the elevator ride back down, a bunch of civilians crowd in with the three criminals and then the elevator stops at what appears to be a floor of the building that's undergoing renovations. Thinking it's the cops, Ritchie and the thugs take the others hostage in hopes of negotiating their way out of this mess. But when Ritchie offers to let one of the hostages go as a show of good faith and the "cops" cut off the hostage's head with a big pair of scissors, it's pretty clear the world of normal crime has been left far behind. Now facing brutal death and surrounded by comic relief, Ritchie has to somehow get himself and the cross to safety.I can't praise the start of Botched enough. It not only doesn't let on you're watching a horror film right away, it's thoroughly convincing as the opening to a completely different sort of story. This movie not only looks and feels like a crime thriller at the beginning, it looks and feels like a reasonably clever one. By having the opening robbery foiled by pure bad luck and then giving Ritchie "one more chance" to make things right, it even suggests how the rest of the film is going to go. And I can imagine that setting things up like that only to take a hard left turn at Albuquerque into horror comedy seemed like a brilliant idea. It wasn't.The problem is that Ritchie and one of the civilians (Jaime Murray) who becomes his sort-of love interest are played relatively seriously through the whole thing, while everything and everyone else gets played for laughs. Well, played for the sort of laughs you get in a horror comedy. The victims are supposed to be funny, the killer is supposed to be funny, the murder and dismemberment is supposed to be funny, the whole situation is an outright attempt at dark comedy with very little drama at all. But Stephen Dorff as Ritchie doesn't reflect any of that. It's like he's in a different movie, which isn't a good thing when you're talking about the main character.Probably the best thing about Botched is Jaime Foreman as Peter, one of the Russian thugs teamed up with Ritchie. He's almost like a character from one of the Grand Theft Auto video games come to life and his violent and crude personality is broad enough to blend in when things veer off into the grotesque and absurd. Probably the worst thing about Botched is Geoff Bell as Boris, a security guard character that these filmmakers obviously thought highly of since they give him a lot of screen time. Unfortunately, they never quite figured out exactly who Boris was supposed to be. It's never clear when or whether the character is being honest, putting on a show for others or lying to himself about who he is.I'm not sure if Botched could have been salvaged. I suspect it's one of those ideas that are great in theory but never work out in practice. If you're a horror comedy fan, you might like it. Outside that niche, it won't have much appeal.

Dainius8888 A really random film. And I do mean random due to the plot. OK, I won't spoil anything, but here are some of the elements from the film. Russia, heist, hostages and out of nowhere comes a murdering psychopath, living in a abandoned hotel floor, who imagines he is a fearless knight... Like I said, random. But really funny, especially due to the fact, how the all of this idiotic randomness is applied from a realistic perspective. Because it's like the main character is from the real world who just stepped into a world of total chaos. Like Alice in Wonderland. Apart from the main character, who is an American, it is really funny to see all the other actors in this film speak English with this over- exaggerated Russian accent, hence the name of the movie - 'Botched', taken from the English word 'butched'.Definitely is not one of the greatest movies ever. Actually, even pretty dumb at times. But absolutely hilarious if you just sit back, do not take it for a serious movie, but rather enjoy the entertaining comedy of it. Shouold make most comedy lovers laugh.

Coventry This movie taught me another valuable lesson which I actually should have known already by now. Never ever trust the quotes and recommendations written on the front cover! The rental DVD of "Botched" loudly exclaims: If you loved "Severance" and "Shaun of the Dead", "Botched" is an absolute must-see! Well, I happened to like these two aforementioned movies quite a bit and yet I hugely regret having spent money and wasted precious time on "Botched". Unlike in the other titles, the comical aspects in this film totally don't work and the only truly positive thing I can say is that it has an apt title. Stephen Dorff, whose career never seems to stop sinking lower and lower, plays a small time crook who owes his mafia boss a free assignment after screwing up a previous jewelery theft. He and two others are sent to Russia in order to steal an antique cross out of the penthouse apartment of a gigantic building. However, the cross as well as the entire building belongs to the last living descendants of a bloodthirsty Russian Tsar and they don't exactly intend to give away their hereditary treasure. The murderous descendants keep the trio of burglars, as well as a handful of random hostages, trapped on the unused 13th floor and start killing them off one by one. Admittedly the basic conceptual idea – namely resurrecting the Russian Tsar – is quite imaginative and potentially interesting, but the film's elaboration is too damn hectic, pretentious and wannabe witty. I actually refuse to believe this movie won prices on festivals! The Russian stereotypes are miserable, the gags are painfully unfunny and the acting performances are below average. There are some neat bits of outrageous gore and splatter, but they honestly don't really suit the tone of the film, which is more of a heist/crime thriller.

Rabh17 The genius of the setup of this movie is the selection of Steven Dorff as the Lead character. He's a Stolid, no-nonsense actor who gives his characters a groundfloor solidity. You don't expect comedy from him.Then you surround him with mondo-splatter hilarity and just watch as "Ritchie" tries to dodge through the insanity and just GET OUT. His face is a character-study in "Jesus-WTF is going on here?" And that mein makes him the Straight-up Man for the entire Horror Hoot.This movie isn't just Funny. It's Hysterical! Special kudos to Jamie Foreman and Russel Smith (Peter & Yuri). They were like an Evil, Reversed Abbot & Costello. I haven't laughed like that in Decades to the kind of faultless, genius slapstick they brought back to the screen. It was the sort of funny that always made your mother wake up and order you to turn the TV Off because you were laughing so hard.This movie is GREAT with friends and Beer & Wine. Watch After Midnight.