The_Film_Cricket
Nudity and soft-core porn can be a bit of a trial when it comes to a movie like 'Bolero'. One watches a movie like this for the same reason they saw 'Showgirls'. Even Bo Peepers have trouble slogging through this vapid monstrosity in which Bo Derek takes off her clothes and wanders through one lame sex scene after another but the scenes that come in between are like watching grass grow.Bo plays Lida a woman discovering her sexual awakening. Take a look at her does she look like a woman who has yet to discover her sexuality? She runs around the world in search of the perfect lover, which include fumblings with a Spanish Bullfighter and an Arab Shiek. This isn't a movie it's a Playboy Video.Look, you watch a movie like this for the T&A but you can't find anything here that you didn't find in 'Tarzan the Ape Man' which is a movie that is equally as languid but contains just as much skin. 'Ten' at least offered a story. It was a very funny comedy that used Bo to the advantage that the essence of her character didn't require her to do very much. This movie was taylor made for video so you can scan it for the 'good parts'.
preppy-3
It was 1984 and I was in college. Also I'm gay (but I wasn't out then). A bunch of my friends decided to see this new X-rated (actually it was unrated--now it's R) Bo Derek flick. I had zero desire to see it but went along anyways. I was hoping there might be some hot male nudity (there wasn't). I can't even remember the plot! All I can remember was the audience reactions. It was all guys (of course) and everybody was quiet for the first 20 minutes--then people started snickering or fighting not to laugh out loud. What were they laughing at? The acting was terrible, the script was even worse, the purported hot sex scenes were pretty mild and, basically, Derek can't act! But above all it was pretty dull. Finally one guy burst out laughing at some particularly idiotic exchange and that was it! The audience lost it and we were all in hysterics during virtually the entire movie! We were yelling things back at the screen and literally tearing the movie to ribbons. The final sex scene (which was faked but the studio SAID it was real) got a little attention but not enough. Basically everybody walked out of the theatre still laughing or just saying (with a big grin) how TERRIBLE that film was! If u watch this for camp value with a bunch of friends u might like it. Otherwise forget it. Also the nudity and sex is pretty tame. It's VERY R rated.
Anders Twetman
I saw this as part of my own little project of seeing all of the films on the bottom 100 list here on IMDb.I decided to start at the back of the list with umber 100 which happened to be Bolero (what that title has to do with anything is beyond me). It's set in what i think is the 1940's as told by the 1980's which is just strange. It's the story of two young women searching for the perfect man to give their virginity to which means there is a lot of full on nudity and sex. The nudity is never really motivated, the sex is not sexy and the plot doesn't work, especially since the main character only visits two men. The scene transitions are so abrupt you never really know what's going on or why and the dialog is so slow it nearly drives you mad. All in all, Bolero is confusing, stupid and boring.
MartinHafer
Mrs. John Derek plays a dumb and completely anachronistic character. Although she is supposed to live in the 1920s, her hair, clothes, behaviors are strictly from the 1980s. And as far as the plot goes, it's strictly porn film territory--though the film does not show enough to satisfy some of the pervs out there looking for more explicit nudity. And, for people wanting a real film with a real plot, it's a disaster as well since it is dumb and vacuous.Mrs. Derek's character is an idiot. In the beginning of the film she strips naked and runs around for no real apparent reason. She also loves Rudolph Valentino in "The Sheik", so this spoiled rich idiot goes all the way to Morocco to lose her virginity. I loved how the film screamed "hackneyed mess" when she arrives and you hear "As Time Goes By" (the theme from "Casablanca")--it made me laugh.When her romantic tryst with a sheik turns out to be a complete bust (with her virginity still intact), she heads to Spain to find a willing piece of beefcake. You'd think Morocco would have at least one stud willing to do this horny lady. However, Spain is also a bust at first, as the bullfighter she wants just so happens to be quite happy with his own busty wench. So, in an effort to get this man, she tries so hard to get him that she seems desperate and stupid. During these shenanigans, we get to see a naked and soapy Olivia d'Abo--who is only 15 and this is rather disturbing. I'm sure some pedos out there enjoyed this scene as well as d'Abo's horny advances. You also get to see Bo and a friend do opium because they are bored...and, once again, quite stupid!!! A bit later when it looks as if Mrs. Derek MIGHT get this Spanish stud to do her, his woman becomes angry (go figure) and threatens him by screaming repeatedly "I keeeel you!!!"--sounding a lot like Jeff Dunham's character, Ahmed the Dead Terrorist! Eventually, surprise, surprise, she and the matador have sex. While the scene is pretty hot and Mrs. Derek undulates amazingly, I did notice that there was perhaps three seconds of foreplay! Not exactly what the audience was expecting after all this build up. Following this scene, Mrs. Derek is attacked by the matador's woman, as she comes at her with a knife yelling "beeeeech!". A semi-naked Mrs. Derek and d'Abo (again, who is underage) lock her in a closet.In a bizarre twist, the matador isn't that great a bullfighter after all, as he's gored in the crotch. Speaking for every man out there "OOOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHH!!!". That's what you get when you are the only bullfighter in Spain who refuses to hurt the bull (I kid you not--a p.c. bullfighter). Oddly, now that he's received a groinectomy, Mrs. Derek proposes to him. Considering that her only ambition throughout the film was to get laid, this seems like a very, very odd twist to say the least!! It would be like W.C. Fields marrying Cary Nation (the leader of the temperance movement). And, of course, while he's been told he'll never be able to have sex again, by the very end of the film the magical power of Mrs. Derek is able to somehow restore his manhood--though, in the interim there were a few silly surprises (such as the return of the impotent sheik and the hot but unintentionally funny final nude scene).So what is to like about the film? Well, aside from the nudity, nothing. The dialog is among the most childish I've ever heard (yet it's a very adult movie supposedly), the characters one-dimensional and cartoon-like and the acting is terrible. While Mrs. John Derek's acting ability when it comes to sex scenes is admirable, her ability to convincingly recite her lines is pathetic and totally unbelievable. And as for d'Abo's, you really have to see it to believe it--it's THAT bad! But, considering her age, this could be forgiven. However, considering that Mrs. Derek is an adult with several screen credits already to her name, she does not have that excuse! What I find amazing about this film are two things. First, that George Kennedy's fortunes had sunk that low that he agreed to be in this bilge. Second, that any man out there would sink as low as Mr. John Derek. Having his gorgeous wife star in this and several other sex films (like "Tarzan the Ape man") just seems disturbing--hence my referring to her as "Mrs. Derek". Was this some sort of expensive and sick form of sexual gratification--seeing his wife with other men brandished across the big screen? Pretty kinky and pretty sad and without this strange compulsion I can't imagine his wife having any career in films. I think this compulsion would have been easier and cheaper to fulfill by just filming his wife naked and prancing about for 90 minutes with no plot at all.Truly a stupid, sad and wretched film.
