UnowPriceless hyped garbage

Salubfoto It's an amazing and heartbreaking story.

Catangro After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

Sameer Callahan It really made me laugh, but for some moments I was tearing up because I could relate so much.

Sam Panico Every movie is someone's favorite movie. That's why I don't call these reviews. They're me exploring films, trying to figure out how they happened and what they are about. How do I do that about this film without feeling like I'm kicking a limbless child?Edward Carnby (Christian Slater, Heathers) is an occult detective and the star of the video games that you may or may not have played. As a child, he was subject to some intense experiments as he grew up in an orphanage where Sister Clara raised him. As a result, he has a sixth sense and has increased strength and agility. He also used to work for Bureau 713, which protects the world from the paranormal.We learn about Bureau 713 from a long scroll in the beginning that is also read to us. It goes on way longer than it needs to. And then it goes on some more. It may still be running as you read this.He's also investigating the disappearance of the Abkani, who worshipped demons from another dimension, demons who are coming back to ours. His girlfriend Aline (Tara Reid, American Pie) is the curator of a museum which happens to have artifacts from the Abkani. There are also some paramilitary guys who are legitimately wearing paintball armor led by Commander Burke (Stephen Dorff, Blade).The writer of the film, Blair Erickson, summed up the changes Uwe Boll made to the script: "Thankfully Dr. Boll was able to hire his loyal team of hacks to crank out something much better than our crappy story and add in all sorts of terrifying horror movie essentials like opening gateways to alternate dimensions, bimbo blonde archaeologists, sex scenes, mad scientists, slimy dog monsters, special army forces designed to battle slimy CG dog monsters, Tara Reid, Matrix slow-motion gun battles, and car chases. Oh yeah, and a ten-minute opening backstory scroll read aloud to the illiterate audience, the only people able to successfully miss all the negative reviews. I mean hell, Boll knows that's where the real scares lie." Yes, the bad guys look like aliens and basically tear everyone to pieces, other than Slater and Reid. That is -- if you get that far. This is a film packed with continuity gaffes, appearances by camera people and even Reid being unable to say the word Newfoundland. For a film set in California, Canadian signage appears throughout. When Agent Cheung's dead body is found, she visibly moves before the scene ends. And perhaps most amazingly, the creatures in the film? Their main weakness is light. Yet they show up in broad daylight to attack the two main characters at the end of the film.I know Uwe Boll likes to punch critics, but I can handle it. Seriously, if you love a video game, there's the worry that this man has made a movie of it. I'd do an entire week of his films on this site, but I don't even know if I have that kind of guts.

jacobjohntaylor1 This movie has an awful story line. It also has an awful ending. I would call a 2.3. I do not really think it is that bad. But it is still not a good movie. I give 4. Alone in the dark II is better. That has nothing to do with this movie except the title. So your really do not need to see this movie. Do not waste your time. And do not waste your time. Do not see this movie. It is not scary. This movie is pooh pooh. Very stinky. It is one really made horror movie. Good actors wasted there time being in this awful movie. I can understand why people do not like this movie. It is not a good movie at all.

Shilo January 28, 2005I think this film is going to get crushed because Uwe Boll directed it. He's the guy who adapts videos games into movies. He directed "House of the Dead" back in 2003 and now he has adapted "Alone in the Dark," a video game series set around the spooky and supernatural. "House of the Dead" was not that good and this picture is not that good either but it's not terrible. In short, I didn't mind it and I was entertained but I was left wondering a lot and I should not have been left in that state. I will decide whether to recommend the picture at the end.It's about, Edward Carnby (Christian Slater) who is a detective that specializes in the occult & strange occurrences. Carnby used to work for Bureau 713, a secret government organization that protects the world from paranormal activity and danger. When Edward discovers one of his friends he grew up with in an orphanage has disappeared, he discovers, Professor Lionel Hudgens (Matthew Walker) is planning something big and Carnby must stop him. Together with his ex-girlfriend, Aline Cedrac (Tara Ried) and Commander of Bureau 713, Richard Burke (Stephen Dorff), Carnby must race against time to stop the professor from re-opening a portal and releasing demonic creatures before it's too late.It opens with a cool narrative telling us about a group of mine workers who discovered the remnants of a long lost Native American civilization called, Abkani, in 1967. Shortly after, Abkani vanished from Earth without a trace. As a result, Bureau 713 was established to research and uncover the dark secrets of the Abkani. The director of the bureau, Archaeologist Lionel Hudgens began conducting gruesome experiments on orphaned children and the government shut him down. When the film begins, a team of people is looking for a runaway child. You guessed it, It's Edward Carnby. This opening serves as the core of the story as we learn revelations from it later on.I'm going to get this out of the way right off the bat. Tara Ried can't act. Her character Vicki in "American Pie" was a dumb ditz. She played the same character in "Urban Legend" and she plays the same character in this picture. I'm not being mean, I'm speaking from seeing her experience on screen. Now, I have played the game that this is based on and the character of Aline is smart and can take care of herself. Tara Ried's character cannot. She is always hanging in the background and she is cardboard with the role. Always in trouble and yelling for help. I'm sure Tara and her character will be another big target for this film but this is not about her. Now, what makes this picture interesting is the story. For a supernatural picture, it works and it's entertaining to see it unfold. Uwe Boll didn't do a terrible job with "House of the Dead" and it certainly showed he tried to make a good film. It seems to be the actors he uses are some causes of the problems and I don;t think I'm wrong about that.What's interesting is that Carnby has an interesting backstory to him. I think most of the films story is lifted from the latest game "Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare." There are a few similarities to the source material: The creatures thrive in darkness and can be harmed by the light or electricity. The creatures in the films are called Xenos. I believe there are some others sources from the earlier games but I'm not sure because I have not played them. So, the character of Carnby is most interesting. He was raised in an orphanage where he lost his memory when he was ten years old. Experiments were conducted on him and the children and because of this he has the ability to sense paranormal activity. He was electrocuted when he was a kid and that serves as a plot twist later on in the film. He finds himself investigating his own past which seems to have connections to Abkani, an ancient Mayan-like Civilization from another dimension who worshiped the demonic creatures that Carnby seeks to destroy.Aline works in the city's museum of history as assistant to Hudgens. She has a vast knowledge of the Abkani. The plot really becomes interesting when a friend Carnby grew up disappears in the middle of the night and Carnby finds that it's all connected. Now, the story might be fine but the action sequences are implausible, to say the least, and a sped up heavy metal soundtrack doesn't help much during an action sequence. The special effects are terrible. The acting is wooden and there are numerous mistakes in the editing. There's a sequence where a female soldier is killed but when the camera moves away, she lifts her head. Again, the actors he hires.The character of Lionel really works with the story. We don't know a whole lot about him. Maybe that's a good thing? He's really sick and twisted in his evil ways and he serves as a major part of the story. What doesn't work is the ending. Yes, there are numerous plot holes throughout and we are left wondering but what really drags the film is the ending. I was left wondering what happened myself. Stephen Dorff is wasted in the film. He reminds me of his police officer appearance in "Feardotcom" and you might as well believe it's the same character; dumb and stupid. We're led to believe there will be a sequel to this but I don't think so. For what's it's worth, it's not a terrible film but it's not good either. On that note, I don't recommend the film because of the numerous faults and the price you have to pay to see it but when it hits DVD, it's worth it to take a look it.

Stefmeister101 Alone in the Dark fails in every way possible way. The acting is terrible from the whole cast, Tara Reid is unbearable, Christian Slater is Christian Slater (post True Romance). You follow these awful characters though a stupid plot as it has one of the worst screenplays in film history (that is so inept of skill and devoid of life) this combined with the movies power to ruin careers before they start (just ask Uwe Boll). Boll showcases his status as one of the worst directors in the world as he directed one of the worst films ever made (At least he became consistent) and a film so bad that it can rot alone....in the dark