AniInterview Sorry, this movie sucks

ThedevilChoose When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

Bluebell Alcock Ok... Let's be honest. It cannot be the best movie but is quite enjoyable. The movie has the potential to develop a great plot for future movies

Billy Ollie Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Bezenby Man, what was the budget on this film? Must have been close to nothing, as not much happens beside Jesse Ventura slugging it out with former England manager Sven Oren Erickson in a wintery landscape with the odd bit of input by the locals or those other two guys in space. This should be the most boring film ever! But it's not! Jesse plays Abraxas, which would be a great name for a toilet cleaner! Here he's an intergalactic cop out to get Sven "I gots to shoot some steroids" Olsen from the Running Man as this guy has impregnated an Earth chick with a Cormator that knows the anti-life formula. Whatever that means. To be honest, it's all the crap these actors have to spew that makes the film so entertaining.Jesse's box has VD, for instance. I cannot go on and spoil all the bewildering one liners this film has to offer, because beyond that you have an ultra cheap sci-fi film with terrible punch ups and not much else. Forget all that and stay for the insane dialogue! It gets funnier as it goes on (and once you realise you are not going to get anything exciting bar two guys duking it out in the snow).

RTheManF89 And that's no joke! I ordered this last week, very anxious to see this in spite of it's bad rep. It finally came in today and I saw it! The best bad movie ever! Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe XD. Now, onto the movie. The movie centers around an intergalactic cop named obviously, Abraxas (Played by Jesse Ventura from Predator. He gets top billing in this as most of the movies he's been in like Predator or Running Man, he usually co-stars as a jerk who gets killed early in a movie) in pursuit of his ex-partner turned renegade, Secundus (Played hilariously by Sven-Ole Thorsen from The Running Man) on earth. We then stumble upon a young couple, the girl, Sonia Murray (Being played by Marjorie Bransfield) wants to keep her virginity, even though her boyfriend wants to get laid with her. Secundus then comes across the couple and tosses the boyfriend out of the car and drives off with Sonia. It is unknown what happens to the boyfriend aftewards. Secundus then asks Sonia if she's fertile and then rapes her by placing his hand on her tummy (WTF!?!) A few minutes later, she gives birth, but how did she do it without anyone to help her? Did she gag it out of her mouth or something? Later, she is seen at her house with her parents, who kick her out of the house because she doesn't know who the father is. Flash forward to Abraxas' home planet. Dar and Hite (Abraxas' dispatchers, would you believe it if I said that the guy playing Dar happened to be the film's director?) have discovered that Secundus has now broken out of his jail and escaped. So after some arguing, they send Abraxas to earth to pursue Secundus yet again. Secundus has returned to earth, 5 years after he impregnated Sonia, to search for Sonia's child, Tommy, who just so happens to be a Comator or something like that. He apparently, has the anti-life equation, which is capable of destroying a world. I don't think I need to go any further with the plot. I will say there are a lot of unintentionally funny moments, like Jesse saying "My Box has V.D." What's especially funny (unintentionally) is the movie's soundtrack. It's mostly soft jazz playing during the fight sequences, which is very unfitting for a fight sequence, yet laughable at the same time. There's also a somehow pointless scene of Secundus smashing some bottles of Pepsi (My favorite soda btw), which could explain why the movie happens to be sponsored by Coca-Cola, after he steals the Jeep from the camping family. Jim Belushi makes a quick and somehow pointless cameo as the Principle of Tommy's school. He did the cameo as a favor to Marjorie Bransfield, who plays Sonia. And towards the end, for no reason at all, while Secundus confronts Tommy in the warehouse, the song "Strong As I Am" (From "Manhunter") by The Prime Movers, is heard, and just like the Kenny G music playing during the fight sequences, it does not fit the scene at all. It works better in "Manhunter" than it does here.

lost-in-limbo Anything starring ex-wrestler / former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura gotta be worth your weight in gold. After appearing as support in such films 'Predator', 'The Running Man and 'Ricochet', his first leading role happens to be in something rather lesser; 'Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe'. It's a low-rent, corny b-grade sci-fi chase get-up in the form of those efforts done in the late 80s / early 90s ('The Hidden', 'The Peacekeeper' and 'Dark Angel') with certain elements of 'The Terminator' (1984) obviously featuring.Abraxas, an alien officer comes to earth to track down a renegade who plans to impregnate a woman with a child, which would be an actual ticking time bomb waiting to explode if caught in the wrong hands. He captures the renegade, but is too late to stop the pregnancy. Instead of destroying the threat, he spares the mother and baby's life. Times passes and the renegade escapes and heads back to earth to find the child, but Abraxas is soon on his trail by trying to get to the child first.It's best that you just go with the flow. Don't look too hard into it, as it won't be impossible to get some sort enjoyment out of it with its unintentional mocking and bizarre nature (like the birth scene). Ventura rocks, but something about his burly physic not matching up to his well-mannered delivery of the material raises some chuckles with his almost-like second-rate Terminator impression. At times the chewy dialogues (honestly it was Shakespeare stuff) seemed too much of a mouth-fall for the two outer-space guests. A robotic Sven-Ole Thorsen forcefully played the evil foe, but Ventura has an sincerely likable air to him that makes him rather appealing in the role. Marjorie Bransfield is decent in her part. Also appearing in very minor support is James Belushi (who has a ridiculous conversation with Bransfield's character) and the dependable Michael Copeman.Damien Lee (b-grade actor/writer/director) manages to make the production look better technically than its budget would allow. Sure the minimal special effects and (out of place slow-motion) action set-pieces are low-scale, but modestly crafted. It's well-photographed and the soundtrack is a flavoured sample of swiftly soothing jazz (odd I know) and electrifying rock. The flabby script is constantly stiff drivel and the screenplay while focused is still quite pedestrian (with a meandering midsection), but whenever Ventura's narrative voice-over pops up it amuses. The supposed humour on the other hand, (which the script tries for in parts) is dumb and falls flat, because they're not the moments you'll laugh at. Talk about a dud of an ending.Undistinguishable, but better than expected camp that has some heart.

winner55 the big question is, as professional wrestlers go, does Jesse "the Body" Ventura make a better actor than governor of a mid-West state with economic troubles? And the answer is: No.Whew! for a minute there, I thought we were going to have problems.Except for the Body himself, the acting in this film is pretty good, and the script and direction indicate that there is a real vision here, and that the writer-director has some talent worth developing. The scene in the burning warehouse where the young boy is being tracked down by the bad-guy is genuinely scary.However, the low budget prevented this film from reaching any potential - beyond that of an enjoyable throwaway for Saturday afternoons when the weather's ho-hum and you're looking for some excuse not to mow the lawn. but on that level, as forgettable filler, it's not so bad.