The_Light_Triton
I reviewed this title back in November 2008, about 4 years ago, and while I still come to the conclusion that this movie still gets a rating of 1 because of how ridiculously bad it is, upon seeing it a few more times, I have to dig deeper into this movie and provide some more thoughts and ideas about it.First off, if you've seen the movie, Skip the next paragraph.In the recent years of the 3 Ninjas, They've grown older and more mature, and because of this, their interest in being ninjas has taken a backseat to more older things. While Tum-tum is still a young boy, Rocky has moved onto girlfriends, and Colt is merely stuck in the middle. Not only that, Tum-tum's Favorite Saturday morning hero, Dave Dragon, is about to cancel his 15-year long superhero show, due to low ratings and loss of interest. His final appearance will be at the Mega mountain theme park on tum-tum's birthday. So Tum-tum wants to go, and his older brothers tag along with their new friend, Amanda, who seems to be an expert on Computer Programming, hacking, and complex electronics. while at the theme park, a group of mercenary Ninjas, led by escaped convict, Mary Ann rogers, AKA Medusa, take over the theme park and threaten to harm it's people, but will let them go in exchange for a large sum of money. Will they succeed in their evildoing, or will the 3 ninjas save the day? OK, Upon seeing this movie a few more times and reading other comments left by users, There's lots to say now. First and foremost, i see 2 obvious references to mid-90s Role Playing games - First, look at Colt's hair. not only does it look ridiculous, it's a bad rip-off of Hero-class Bowie from shining force II, A sega Genesis RPG from 1994. Also, look at Amanda. Doesn't her character seem familiar to another girl from a 1995 SNES RPG? she does have thick glasses, knows her way around complex electronics and computers - Kinda like Lucca from Chrono Trigger maybe? Secondly, kids movies of the 90's can be totally remembered for kids outsmarting adults and leaving a trail of laughter in their wake. It started with Home alone, from 1990. Then it carried throughout the 90s, but around the mid-to-late 90s, the cliché got really old. this movie feeds off that cliché like Michael Moore feeds off of McDonalds.Thirdly, The aged stars of our show. First there's Hulk Hogan. Now i love wrestling, to me, it's entertainment and should not be looked at as a legitimate sport, cause it's not. Hulkamania was still running wild for the hulk at the time, he was in his 40s (if this was filmed in 1997, released in 1998, and hulk was born in 1953, he would've been 44 years old. For the most part, his acting isn't really believable, but his larger than life character in the ring more than makes up for it. then we have our other aged star, Loni Anderson. this was a few years after her divorce with Burt Reynolds, and i gotta admit, with all the leather, the make-up, lipstick, and sexy cougar voice, I was still turned on to her. How old was she around the time of filming? Well, she was born in 1945, making her 52 around the time of filming. Hot damn! But her acting skills in this film are as follows...Fourth, Loni Anderson might as well have starred in a porno, cause her acting skills, are totally unbelievable. And adding onto another user's comment, The Dialogue between Loni and Chelsey (Amanda) feels like watching a lesbian porno, about an aged beauty queen wanting to have her way with a young woman.So the bottom line, 3 Ninjas; High Noon at Mega Mountain isn't what you'd call a memorable film, i'd prefer the term "Boring Saturday afternoon fare." it's totally forgettable, the only reason i'll ever remember it is because Loni Anderson was a total cougar in it. I'd rather remember hulk hogan for his Wrestling matches.1/10
TheLittleSongbird
I have seen a lot of movies, old and new, good and bad. 3 Ninjas:High Noon at Mega Mountain is a really awful movie, not the all-time worst, but everything that makes a bad movie bad is in abundance in this wretched excuse of a movie. In fact, the only somewhat tolerable asset was the soundtrack, that was decent compared to how awful everything else was.What made the movie especially bad was the plot. It is incredibly lame and predictable, with one of the dumbest endings I have seen in recent memory. Production values-wise, the movie is not good either, the cinematography, sets and scenery are of shoddy quality and the editing is so slip-shod it hurts the eyes and makes the editing in a movie like The Medallion seem Oscar-worthy. The fight scenes are poorly choreographed with little or no drive or energy, while the script and direction are terrible. Same with the acting, the kids are all annoying, the villains are pathetic in both character and acting while Hulk Hogan has a poor character and is not given much to do.Overall, an awful film and not worth it. 1/10 Bethany Cox
bob the moo
Rocky and Colt are probably getting a bit too old to be spending their summers practising their ninja skills and Grandpa Mori knows he will soon loose them to the appeal of girls and probably inexpensive soft drugs. Young Tum Tum skill shows heart though, but is that enough? Anyway, for Tom Tom's birthday, they all go to theme park Mega Mountain to see television star Dave Dragon in a live appearance. However when terrorists seize control of the park and demand $10 million or they will start causing accidents among the customers. With the gates locked down and no help on the way, the boys find themselves calling on their ninja skills after all.OK, I wasn't expecting this to be Die Hard but I was genuinely surprised to find out what passes as kids' entertainment in the eyes of some makers. I had to check IMDb during it to find out if it was a TVM or not and again was shocked to learn that this made it into cinemas, yes, cinemas. It actually got released and was shown to a paying public as opposed to just let out on television. Personally I do not have an issue with the idea behind the film because kids will always love to see their peers beating adults. I'm sure many parents will have concerns about letting their children watch something with lots of fighting and kicking in case they imitate it, but I'll leave those concerns to them (even if I do agree with them). So in theory this should be a silly and fun martial arts film for children.However this is so cheap - lacking originality, effort and fun that I did wonder if the audience didn't deserve something better than this. The mixed group watching this on a lazy afternoon hardly let out a chuckle or any sign of enjoyment. The martial arts action did show that the movement is well done but that is about it. I expected the plot to be daft but it is daft to the point of being painful and it just felt churned out like a bad panto – the basics with little for kids and nothing at all for adults.The cast are roundly poor although this was almost always going to be a given. The kids can't act to save their lives even if they move well. Botuchis is unconvincing, Roeske is unbearably saccharine while O'Laskey looks absurd with one of the worse haircuts I have ever seen. Hogan looks so cheap that his wrestling days look like Shakespeare in the Park as a result – he is terrible and really should have more dignity about him than this. Anderson is poor and given little support by Jim Varney. Wong's last film on earth? Shame. McNamara's direction is TVM standard at best and the cheap incidental music just makes it all feel worse still.Overall, a popular one for inclusion in the bottom 100 on this site and it is indeed rubbish but it didn't have to be. The idea could have been fun if done properly but it is cheaply delivered in every regard and lacks any sense of fun, wit or imagination, leaving it feeling like it has been churned out as part of a money making process without a care for the audience (which, on this evidence, it exactly what happened).
